Shoot Your Mouth Off
by E.Mahiru
Summary: In a cold northern country, Roy Mustang tries to forget past tragedies and runs into a young man with a strangely similiar past. The difference is that while Roy tries to carve out a new life for himself, the other has come here to wait for death.EdRoylim
1. Chapter 1

**This is only my second published fanfic, and my very first EdRoy.**

**Warnings: Strong language, probably alchohol, definitely smoking, possible yaoi limes, maybe even lemons if I get up the courage. Oh, and angst.**

**Other Warnings: This is Alternate Reality, so I've switched around the times of things. When they happened I mean. I don't want to give anything away just yet, so I'll leave it at that.**

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Roy Mustang stumbled and fell, swearing incoherently at the bartender who'd just thrown him out.

_Drunk again. Kicked out again. Alone again._ Roy picked himself up. _Lost again. Cold again. _He wiped his hands on his pant-legs to get the street-slush he'd fallen in off of them.

Someone in the dark night spotted his military uniform pants and started with the cat-calls.

"Whoa-ho! A military dog! Drinkin' away your life now that you're a hero, huh? Trying to forget all those people you killed? Try forgetting this, bastard!" From out of nowhere, a boot connected with Roy's ribs. Slamming down onto the sidewalk to the noise of his ribs cracking, Roy thought about reaching for his gun. Maybe pain would give him the determination to finally off himself. The man kicked him again and spat.

"Murderer." he walked off.

Roy cried for the hundredth time. He couldn't stop his mind from bringing up those memories again. An angry man not even knowing what was coming, a frightened child trying to hide, a woman who knew all too well as she held her screaming infant in her arms. His traitorous mind continued, reminding him of his best friends, Lt. Colonel Maes Hughes and 2nd Lieutenant Hawkeye. She was first, caught in a hand grenade's explosion from her sniper's nook above the battlefield, her body never recovered. And then Maes, right beside him. When Roy had seen him go down he'd started to kneel down, screaming his name, but an officer had screamed for him to hold his position. So he'd gone back.

Roy's whole body shook with his sobs. It had truly been a terrible war.

He had to get away from this.

Somehow.

* * *

2 years later

Roy looked dejectedly out the window at the red sunset. It was nice out and he should probably go out. Fresh air cleared his mind most of the time.

He had to admit, compared to Amestris, Drachma was a lot cleaner, albeit colder. He pulled on a leather jacket over his button-down and jeans and went for a walk. When he came to the park, he saw a little group of people talking loudly, some gesturing wildly with their hands. Something interesting was always going on in this nice little park, and Roy decided to check it out. Maybe he could join in like he did occasionally with the karate club or local jam session. In the 6 months he'd lived in this medium-sized city, he'd never fouond a lack of things to do. As he came closer, one voice in particular stood out.

"That's a clear-cut traffic violation! There's no way you can defend that. Even insurance companies in Creta wouldn't pay for a damaged front-wheel axis if the cause was ramming a parked car in a _designated parking _area."

"How about backing into someone's rear?" Someone else piped up. Roy was intrigued. A debate club?

"It depends on where you are. In a parking lot, it just might be defensible, but on the street you'd have no hope. You'd get a double-charge as well because driving in reverse on a street or highway is illegal." Roy peeked through the ring of people to see the man who owned this very in-charge voice. He was surprised. It looked like a teenager with oddly long blond hair and very light brown-no wait, _yellow_ eyes.

"I'm a student and I've been given a practice case where my client has no alibi," a girl said, addressing the boy. "But she's innocent."

"Listen. Every innocent person _has an alibi,_ OK? Where was she?"

"She thinks she was at a bar, but she was so drunk she can't remember."

"Then how do you know she's innocent?"

"Well, it was an assignment, so I've already been told."

"Never believe any information you haven't collected yourself unless it's from a trusted source or matches another source. If two records from two different places say the same thing, that's probably what happened. But if _you_ don't know whether or not she might be guilty, you have to find out for yourself. For all you know, your teacher's throwing you for a loop." Roy watched the intriguing man argue a bit more on traffic violations before posing his own question.

"What if you have a guilty client? A murderer? You still have to defend him, don't you?" The boy, who Roy realized must be older than he looked by the timbre of his voice, focused his golden eyes on the dark-haired man.

"I only take those cases when I'm bored, but the idea's pretty easy. If you make the other person look guilty of anything, that automatically makes you look innocent in comparison. In Cretan democracy, it's used in politics under the name "smear-campaigning". Smear your opponent and it makes you look clean." The blond paused before giving Roy a measuring glance.

"I haven't seen you before. Which firm are you with? Or are you a student?"

"Ah, oh, no. I was just taking a walk. I'm a clerk at the grocery store. Just moved here a little while ago." Roy was suddenly aware that all eyes were on him.

"Where from?" the slight blond asked bluntly.

"Amestris." Roy answered uncertainly.

"Oh yeah? I'm from there too." The man acknowledged. Roy smiled slightly.

"What's your name, grocer?"

"Um, Roy Mustang."

"Edward Elric. Pleased to meet you." Edward said abruptly.

"Say, do I get a discount for knowing a VIP in there?" he cackled, referring to Roy's current state of employment.

"Don't you already? I just remembered where I've heard your name before. There's a woman working on my shift who told me about a little hermit lawyer who saved the store a few years back." Roy grinned when Elric blushed slightly.

"Yeah well that was too easy anyway. Idiots thought they could close it down because some of the equipment at the deli counter wasn't up-to-date, even though the law clearly says that in towns with over 400,000 people, local markets should receive a small dividend of the annual tax fees for any kind of maintainence work needed to be done, and replacement of equipment obviously comes under that category. Those guys were just a bunch of piss-heads." Ed finished. Roy was, needless to say, impressed.

"You know a lot, don't you?"

"I'm a lawyer." Was the non-chalant response.

"If you don't mind me asking, exactly what are all of you gathered here for?"

Someone else piped up to answer.

"We all come to exercise our...prowess as lawyers."

"It's practice for all of us. And besides, we all have a wager that whoever can out-talk Mr. Elric here gets free beer for a year, as payed for by the rest of us." Another man cackled.

"Funny how if anyone 'beats' me, they get free beer, but for all the times I've 'out-talked' one of them I haven't gotten so much as a cigarette." Ed grumbled to Roy. Everyone else laughed. Roy became a little more curious.

"How old are you?" he inquired. Ed's eye twitched.

"Twenty-six." He growled, suddenly hostile.

"Oh. Wow..I mean, you look younger..." Roy trailed off at the angry look on Edward's face.

"YOU WANNA PICK A FIGHT, HUH? YOU WANNA SAY I'M SO SHORT I LOOK LIKE AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOLER, HUH? COME ON THEN AND SAY IT YOU BIG-"

"Aw, come on Ed, let him go. He doesn't mean anything." Someone spoke up. Roy was glad. The man might be three years younger than he was, but he was scary.

"You didn't mean it, right?" Someone prodded him.

"No, not at all-...In fact, I never even said any of that stuff." he gave Ed a what-do-you-think-you're-trying-to-pull-look.

"Maybe not but you were thinking it." Ed huffed. Roy ignored that. Standing up, the man was indeed, quite short.

"It's about time I got going. It's about to start raining anyway. We should all go." The blond suggested. As the 'lawyer club' dissolved from the park, Roy battled with himself. He hated the rain, but he also wanted to follow Ed. It was just something he wanted to do, as though if he didn't, he might not see the man again. Roy glanced at the sky, then at the man about to turn the corner.

"What the hell. I came here to have a life."

Roy ran after Ed. He was surprised to see him walking up to the graveyard. He felt as though he were intruding as he followed the blond at a distance. All uneasy thoughts of intrusion on Ed's personal space fled when he saw Edward kneel over a large gravestone and slash his palm with a knife. Roy's mind screamed in pain. That was a lot of blood. A lot of pain. And not even a hundredth of the blood he'd spilled and the pain he'd dealt.

_'No, block it. BLOCK IT.' _

Roy had gotten so very good at blocking these memories since he'd moved here. He dragged himself back to the present and saw a flash of light. He started running toward Ed. He had no idea what the man was doing, but it was scary.

He came pounding up the low hill and as he drew near, Edward's eyes snapped to focus on him. Roy unthinkingly reached for the man and he was kicked onto his back before he even saw Ed's foot. Ed looked down at him, eyes livid but not unrestrained.

"I don't think I like you. In fact, I think you're a nosy son-of-a-bitch stalker." Ed pulled his glove over his bleeding hand and walked away.

Roy recovered his breath, staggered upright and ran up beside Ed, who held up his hand to cut Roy off.

"You don't say a word until we get to my house."

Roy submitted.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to cuylerjade and hyperdude for reviews!!! Here's the second chap, guys!**

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_"You don't say a word until we get to my house." _

_Roy submitted._

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He used to be a really cocky guy, but he'd lost that in the war. Partially because he didn't have anything to be proud of anymore, but also because he didn't have an anchor, a relief.

Maes used to be that. As long as he could run to Maes to complain or even occasionally cry, it would be alright. But after he'd lost not only Maes, but also Riza, he'd had to fall back on himself. He found himself a lot less comforting. Because of that, he knew he was living a half-life. The other half, his cocky, teasing, smirking half was afraid to come out without an anchor to fall back on.

Ed pushed a button next to an iron-wrought gate, which opened, and walked up the stone path. The house was prim and quaint, but some obviously new gold trim gave it an air of elegance. Ed unlocked the door and stepped in, letting Roy follow or not. Roy came in and hung his coat on the coat-rack before stepping into an elegant rectangular room with three doors on the wall opposite from Roy. Ed went into the first on the right, leading the dark-haired man into a spacious kitchen nook. It was a rather large room just to serve that one purpose, Roy thought.

"Sit." Ed told him as he went to the sink. The sight of the younger man pulling his glove off his bloody hand to rinse it reminded Roy of why he was here in the first place.

"Why did you do that to yourself? What did you do on that tombstone?" Roy burst out. Ed dried his hand, wrapping gauze around it as he took a seat at the breakfast bar across from Roy.

"I needed to perform some alchemy. And no, not human alchemy. Not quite. But before you tell me that it's unhealthy to mutilate myself, let's talk about you. Because you don't know who you're dealing with. A man from Amestris who's come here to live a quiet life as a grocer. Why would he do that, hm? It's cold up here and Drachma's not as rich as Amestris. But maybe you needed to get away. Away from the military I know you worked for and away from the memories of the war I know you fought in just a couple years back."

Roy flinched, but Ed continued, hissing. "It's just logic, but the way your eyes have withdrawn tells me I'm right. So. Now you know who you're dealing with." he finished, leaning back in his chair. Roy was frozen, determined not to snap or break down. Ed's eyes gave him a once-over and Roy was slightly surprised at Ed's next words.

"You're sorry, aren't you? I'm sorry for bringing it up that way. I have things like that too. Things that I've had to pay for. One of those things is why I sometimes cut myself, but it's never more than I need to. You shouldn't worry about me when you have yourself to look after." Ed finished vaguely.

"You can go now." he sighed, gesturing at the door.

"Well-er, I mean..." Roy stuttered. Ed turned to look at him, confusion written on his face.

"When will I see you again?" Roy finally managed. Ed's face softened into a warm smile.

"I'll come by the store." he promised. Roy nodded, wondering why he was blushing. He stood and went to the door, taking his coat off the rack and turning to look at the spirited man who's house he was in. Ed caught his gaze, holding it until Roy went out the door.

Roy watched the stormclouds as he headed back to his own humble house. It was pretty shabby, but it had been cheap. He set his alarm clock for the morning, before flopping into bed. Dark cloudy days always made him tired.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, here we go! I hope everyone's still liking this, and this chapter should be the funniest yet. My sis, Sesshomaru'sSaphireMaiden, thought it was.**

_Dun-da-dun-da-dun!_

God Roy hated his alarm clock.

_Dun-da-dun-da-dun!_

He didn't know where his gloves were, seeing as he hardly ever wore them anymore, so he just rolled over and hit the stupid thing with the side of his fist, swearing when his hand connected with the hard plastic, which inflicted, rather than received, damage.

_Dun-da-dun-da-dun!_

Roy rolled over, locating the 'off' button and jabbing it with his finger. Getting up to add more coffee beans to the coffee machine which he'd left on all night woke him up a bit. He put on his goofy green "Can I Help You" shirt with off-white pants and pulled on his brown loafers. Tossing his apron into his bag, he thought _'Whoever decided that hospital scrub avocado green goes well with bright ocean blue must be in the nuthouse now.'_

He ran a brush through his hair, brushed his teeth, grabbed his coffee and pulled his bike out of the yard before taking a sip of said coffee. He almost gagged. This would seriously make a horseshoe stand up, maybe even run for its life. Hopping onto his bike and pushing off into morning traffic, he felt caffeine from that single sip flood his body. He was definitely getting rid of this stuff as soon as he got to work. It could be dangerous.

Work was uneventful until about 10 am. He got off work in an hour and was wondering whether or not Edward was going to come by today or not, when he heard bickering nearby.

"Now, by your definition, this apple is, in fact, not rotten. No mold, no discoloration, and no disfigurement. It _is_ in fact, bruised because you threw it at me. That however, is your fault and you know that saying 'You break it you buy it'? Well you have now damaged the apple, so I suggest you head to the register. Now." Roy watched Ed chew out a little girl who had apparently thrown an apple at him. As Ed watched the girl march unhappily up to the register, Roy finished rearranging the yogurt per due date and walked over to ask "Did that kid just throw an apple at you?" Ed turned to Roy, rubbing his arm lightly.

"Yeah. She hates me because I chased her cat out of my garden with a weedwhacker..." he shook his head.

"Kids can be so stupid."

Roy grinned at that. "Are you speaking from first-hand experience?" he asked.

"Yeah. I think I was the stupidest kid I've ever known." Ed looked remorseful for a moment.

"Hey, you don't know if they got the new shipment of Frosted Mini-Wheats, do you?"

"They're right over here." Roy grinned.

"What the hell are you grinning about? They're a good source of fiber." Ed grumbled. Roy nodded knowingly, unable to keep his grin from expanding across his face.

"So, you like to hear me chew people out?" Ed said as he examined the different boxes, trying to decide if he wanted a free action figure or a free temporary dragonfly tattoo.

"Well, uh..." Roy didn't know why he was blushing all of a sudden. Ed continued, oblivious to Roy's flushed face.

"There's a trial tomorrow. It's just an auto accident thing." He picked up a box promising a free dragonfly tattoo and turned to Roy.

"Are you asking me to come?" Roy was a little confused.

"Only if you want to." Ed watched Roy's face patiently.

"Well, yeah I guess so. I don't have anything else to do..." Roy flushed a little more under Edward's intent gaze.

"See you tomorrow at noon." Ed gave him a small friendly smile and headed off toward the register.


	4. Chapter 4

**Before we get to this next chapter, let's all give a round of applause to those who have reviewed and encouraged me! **

**cuylerjade, hypderdude, royfan, anmbcuconnfan, VadMustang, LonelyInACrowd and Jane Austen Girl, thank you so much! Arigatoo gozaimasu!**

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_Dun-da-dun-da-dun!_

Roy rolled over and slapped the clock, effectively silencing it. Dressing quickly, he cringed in the mirror. He was going to have to come back home and change before he went to Ed's trial. Carefully measuring his coffee beans, he headed to the bathroom for a quick shower.

When he got off from work, Roy raced home on his bike to change into something a little nicer, but he had a problem. He couldn't get into his house.

As he frantically searched his pockets, apron and bike basket, a thought occurred to him.

'_I picked up the coffee, picked up my bag...'_ He looked in the window. There were his keys sitting on the table.

"Shit." Roy went into the backyard and tested the back windows. They were securely locked. He looked at his watch. 11:30.

"Shit."

He didn't have his pyrotex gloves...but he did have a pencil. Trying to recall basic alchemy from his childhood was more of a challenge than he'd thought it would be as he sketched an array on his door. After four unsuccessful attempts to altar the door's shape in any useful way, he could feel his old lady neighbor's eyes on his back. Gritting his teeth, he touched his modified circle again. The wall warped, thickening the door.

"Open F!!!!ing Sesame! " he yelled, kicking the door.

"Ow dammit!" he hopped around holding his foot, then checked his watch again. 12:05.

He was furious now and decided to go the violent way in. He punched the window.

"OH! Jesus!" he held his hand and kicked the window with the foot he had _not_ used to kick the door. It shattered, glass fragments cutting into his leg. As he started to try to climb in the window without being stabbed again, an ambulance showed upright behind a wailing police car. Roy groaned. When pulled out of the window and questioned, he explained.

"I locked my keys in and I was supposed to be somewhere," he paused to check his watch. "Twenty-five minutes ago."

A policeman picked his lock while a nurse in the ambulance treated his glass cuts and another officer contacted a window shop. Roy was acutely embarrassed.

By the time he'd said thank you and boddbye to the police man and the ambulance, done a temporary fix-up cardboard job on his broken window and changed into a button-down and dress pants, it was 1 'o' clock.

Peddling like a maniac, he screamed down to the local courthouse to see a mob of people descending its front steps. From the snatches of conversation he overheard as he scanned the scene for gold hair, Ed had done it again, effortlessly wringing a confession and explanation from the defendant who had divorced a man and had to let him have the car. So when she saw it in a parking lot, she'd decided to smash it up with her own used car, resulting in two totalled cars.

Finally, the mob dissipated and Roy saw Ed leaning against the building smoking a cigarette.

"Edward!" Roy ran over. "I'm so sorry! I got locked out of my house and uh..." Roy wasn't sure how much he wanted to elaborate. Ed blew a puff of smoke before grinning.

"I don't mind. Tell me all about it." he said. Roy blushed. Damn this new habit of turning pink around Ed!

"C'mon Roy, tell me _really_ why you didn't come." Ed sneered a little and Roy hurriedly explained everything in a rush to prove his excuse. When he was done and blushing even more, Ed grinned.

"I knew you had a good reason. Saying I didn't believe you made you feel a need to elaborate." he grinned like the devil as Roy huffed in irritation.

"C'mon, you want to go out to lunch?" Ed asked. Roy huffed again and then nodded.

Lunch would turn out to be a very interesting affair.

Ed ordered red wine for both of them before Roy could protest and then proceeded to closely examine the menu. Roy nervously followed suit. As soon as Ed had picked some raviolis, someone tapped Roy on the shoulder. Or more like swatted.

"Roy-O! Hey man, give us a tune!" Roy groaned inwardly as Ed raised his eyebrows in a guarded but amused expression. The overly enthusiastic drummer-from-hell hippie behind him was one of very few people Roy didn't like in Drachma.

"C'mon! It's an open mike, man, so get up there and sing!"

"No thank you. I came here to eat." Roy said calmly.

"I know! Sing Ophelia!!" The man grabbed the right side of Roy's shirt collar and literally pulled Roy out of his seat. Roy grabbed his arm, but his shirt was going to rip if he fought too much. He was shoved on stage to yells of "Ophelia! Ophelia!" from his kidnapper.

He looked to the booth he and Ed had been sharing and felt his stomach tighten when he saw Ed was frowning slightly. Behind Roy, the intro to Ophelia started. Feeling helpless, Roy decided to go with the flow and began to sing.

_"Boards on the window_

_Mail by the door_

_What would anybody leave so, quickly for!_

_Ophelia!_

_Tell me what went wrong"_

Roy relaxed a bit when he saw Ed's mouth kick up into a slight grin.

_"The old neighborhood_

_Just ain't the same_

_Nobody knows just, what became _

_of Ophelia!_

_Please darken my door" _

Roy realized he was staring at Ed and blushed. Averting his gaze for the next four verses, Roy finished up his song and headed back to the booth.

Ed grinned.

"You sing, huh?"

"Just for fun." Roy muttered.

"What else do you like to do for fun?" The way Ed said it made Roy shiver. Was it the way he'd said "fun" as though it meant something else or the way his voice had deepened for the whole sentence that turned it into a loaded question?

Ed grinned again.

"I'm not making you _uncomfortable_, am I?" There was no doubt now in Roy's mind that Ed was toying with him.

"Is there something you'd like to say?" Roy asked carefully. Ed's grin grew wider.

"Is there something _you'd_ like to say? Or...Maybe _do_?"

Roy's eyes widened. Oh jeez. Ed knew he was bi, didn't he? How had he possibly figured that out? And why was he trying to get Roy to say something about it?

"What are you getting at?" The taller man hissed.

"I'm just guessing, but I think you're not as straight as you'd like everyone to think."

"Maybe not," Roy conceded. "But it's hardly your business."

"Maybe I think it is. Maybe I'll make it mine."

"Stop it!" Roy hissed, eyes flashing. Ed pursed his lips and sat back, studying Roy. Roy couldn't tell what Ed appeared to be thinking so hard about, and he wasn't really sure he wanted to know.

Roy had never even really told Maes about his bisexuality. He'd always loved Maes as a real friend, even if he did have occasional thoughts of a relationship with the man. Riza had always liked Roy, but he had worked with her for so long as a friend, he had never quite been able to picture a romance between his military subordinate and himself.

Back in school he'd had a girlfriend for a year and a half, but since then nothing had lasted much past three or four months. It had been a series of debilitating, heart-rending crushes in rapid succession on his peers when he'd first joined the military that had caused the discovery of favoring neither sex, but he hadn't had a lot of time for relationships during his first year in the military. In the next few years he'd had a few flings with some of the men and women in his dorm, but then he'd been sent off to war. After that, it had been all he could do to force himself to live a normal life again and try to forget those awful memories, let alone attract a partner.

Something suddenly occurred to him and he leaned forward over the table to administer a little revenge on the man who, just minutes ago, had made him so acutely uncomfortable.

"You're not straight either, you flirt." He snarled. Ed just grinned, looking more than slightly predatorial. Roy wasn't sure what to do, having been expecting more of a reaction from Ed.

"Now that you understand, you want to head back to my place?"

Roy knew instantly exactly what Ed was asking. For a moment his mind balked, but...The isolation, the loneliness Roy had endured since losing his friends in the war was crying out to Roy. Someone was offering to cure, or at least subdue, those feelings that he was so awful a person that no one would ever want to be close to him a gain, and offering to share the human warmth that Roy had craved for so long. The boundaries he'd put up in his self-imposed exile were crumbling.

Ed stood to take the check up to the front counter, leaving Roy dumbstruck in his seat. The blond returned a moment later, giving Roy a pointed look as he picked up his coat and headed for the door. A moment later, Roy jumped from his seat to follow.

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**Warning!! Next chapter there will be a lime! So no flames! I've warned you!**

**Isn't The Band cool? I love Ophelia!! But I do not claim to own it.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Warning! Lime!! Here it is, for all of you who've been waiting!!**

**Thanks to **BlackMercifulFaerie **for pointing out that formatting mistake, so from now on, the dialogue will hopefully be less confusing.**

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Ed walked briskly, pushing both of them so there wasn't enough breath for awkward conversation. The minute Roy followed the blond man into his house, Ed turned around and caught Roy's gaze.

"C'mon. Upstairs." Ed commanded, pulling Roy by his shoulder toward the breakfast nook. Roy was led out of that room into a corridor with a few doors and a few staircases leading out of it. Ed bumped the back of Roy's leg with his own to steer him toward one of the assorted staircases. For a moment, Roy was unsure. Was he really ready to be intimate with anyone, let alone a strange lawyer he'd met just three days ago?

Ed's hand on his back pushing him up the stairs brought Roy out of his reverie. He needed comfort and someone was offering. It wasn't going to really mean anything, so why not?

_'Don't think about consequences, just think about Ed.'_ Roy playfully wrapped an arm around Ed, pressing his hand to Ed's stomach. As Roy's embrace caused Ed to trip on the stairs and stumble forward into Roy, the taller brunette could feel bulging muscles under Ed's shirt. Ed pulled/pushed Roy through a door at the top of the staircase and looked up at Roy.

"I get to be on top." He grinned. The tone of voice that had so badly freaked Roy out in the restaurant was turning him on now and his cocky side started to come out as he replied.

"I don't think so." he taunted.

"Hey, it's my house." Ed replied childishly.

"But I'm taller." Roy grinned as Ed's face darkened.

"I'm stronger."

"You don't know that." Roy leaned down over Ed and the younger pushed the older roughly toward a large bed with a white and gold comforter on it.

"I'm sure of it." Ed growled back.

"I'm still bigger and taller than you are." Roy said as Ed started fiddling with the buttons on the brunette's shirt.

"I'll make you pay for that comment." Ed growled.

"Oh yeah?" Roy easily flipped the buttons out of their holes on Ed's shirt and started to pull it off.

He gasped in horror.

Jagged, uneven scars as thick as his thumb and almost as long as his forearm came from Edward's neck and chest and converged on his right shoulder. But that was the least of it. Heavy cold steel covered Ed's shoulder and extended down his arm...Roy pulled the shirt off completely, leaving Ed with only his white glove on his right hand.

"No...It's not covered." Roy gasped. "It's automail. Isn't it?" He looked up at Ed, whose lips were pressed together.

"Forgot to warn you about that. If it scares you or makes you uncomfortable, you can leave now. You don't have any obligations." The short man told him. His voice was tight and angry. Roy took a deep breath and Ed sat next to him to pull off his left shoe, revealing a steel foot. Roy swallowed hard.

Automail. A lot of soldiers had needed prosthetics after the war. Only the bravest actually applied for automail. Steel ports being grafted onto your body and every nerve in a limb wasn't exactly painless.

"Can I touch it?" He asked Ed quietly. Ed nodded. Roy reached over and gently ran his finger down Ed's arm.

"You gonna leave?" Ed asked. Roy shook his head. Ed's tense guarded expression relaxed into something more vulnerable and grateful. He stripped the rest of his clothes off quickly and lay back on the bed, submission written on his face. Roy raised his eyebrows and followed Ed down.

"You're that happy I'm not leaving?" He asked, reaching for Ed's collarbone with his tongue.

Ed shivered under Roy before answering.

"People in Drachma don't have as much of a habit of losing their arms and legs the way they do in Amestris. You would've been the fifth to back out because of my arm and leg."

As Roy came down on Ed, the blond nuzzled into Roy's neck, wincing slightly as Roy began to pick up the pace. Getting over the shock of finding out someone who had seemed normal was half steel, Roy ran his hands down Ed's hard, compact and writhing body. The blond man was a lot bulkier than he seemed.

Ed was becoming more responsive with Roy's every move, little moans slipping out of his mouth as he hung on to Roy's shoulders. He was continually getting louder and louder and Roy knew he wasn't going to last much longer. Deciding to really make him yell, Roy placed a firm hand on the younger man's chest and told him. _"Hold perfectly still."_

Ed was obviously confused, but as Roy slammed his hips into Ed, the golden eyes closed in a shout. Roy slammed him one more time, moaning as he leaned down further to press his lips to Edward's.

* * *

Roy tried to pull his arm out from under Ed's side and Ed opened his eyes.

"Leaving so soon?" The corners of Ed's mouth kicked up in a smile.

"I'll be right back." Roy pulled his arm out from under Ed's ribs and slipped into the adjoining bathroom. Damn random headaches. Roy opened the medicine cabinet in search of aspirin. Noticing a red glass bottle, he picked it up to examine the label.

"Imipramine...?" The name was ringing a bell...

_"It's the good stuff. Won't issue it out to us foot soldiers."_

That's right. That guy...that Kimbley guy. Roy had never applied for drugs, despite numerous panic attacks, but he'd known plenty of men who had. Some were like Kimbley, viewing the offered medications like alchohol, or mood enhancers.

Ed's automail foot hit the floor behind him with an angry clunk.

"What the hell do you think _you're_ doing?"

Roy whirled around.

"I'm just looking for some aspirin."

"Well you could've asked! Stay out of my stuff!" Ed sounded like a sixteen year old girl to Roy.

"Ed, just 'cause you're on meds-"

"Just get out! If you're going to be so damn nosy, you can just get the hell out!"

"Ed-!"

"OUT!" Ed's eyes were flashing in rage. Roy was suddenly scared. Fleeing back to the bedroom and pulling on his clothes as fast as he could manage, he shot down the stairs and ran out of the house as fast as he could. Completely forgetting about his bicycle, Roy ran all the way home.

Collapsing on the couch, he burst into tears. What had gone wrong? Was it his fault Ed had gone nuts in the bathroom? _Imipramine_...Severe antidepressant. Why was Ed taking such strong meds?

Exhausted from the days activities and a persistant throbbing headache, Roy tok some aspirin and dropped off to sleep like a rock.

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	6. Chapter 6

**Woot! Next chapter finally up!! Sorry it took so long, but thanks to all the encouragement I've been getting from all my wonderful reviewers, I was totally inspired finally!!**

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Roy was working the cash register the next day when Ed came in. The blond didn't say a word as he shuffled some butter, bagels and eggs out of his arms onto the counter. As Roy scanned them, he hissed under his breath "So, are you just going to ignore me? Pretend yesterday never happened?"

Ed looked up sharply.

"You're the one who ran off." he growled.

"Because you told me to!" Roy hissed frantically. "You start ed screaming for me to get out, you phsycho!"

"I never said I meant it." Ed incorporated some annoyance into his tone.

"That's not how it works! That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard!"

"Look, you're the one who went digg-"

"It was an accident! You're the one who was upset about it! I've been around people on meds before Ed. It's not that big of a deal. Of course, they're generally meant to keep you sane, not the other way around.

"_Keep_ me **_sane_**?" Ed's face darkened, his entire body stiffening. Roy was disturbed at the danger Ed radiated. The blond man closed his mouth abruptly. Biting his lip angrily for a moment, he looked up at Roy.

"I'm sorry. That's an old habit I thought I'd broken."

"What?"  
"Lashing out at whoever's hanady, whoever's neck just so happens to be in reach."

"If you're not mad at me, what the hell are you angry at?" Roy prodded.

"Look, just forget about it. I came up here to this freezing country to huddle by myself until I died. That's the way it should be, so maybe you really should just 'get out'. OK? Just leave me alone."

"Wait! I've never been so bad I needed drugs, but-but I know what it's like to condemn yourself. Please let me help." Roy didn't want to let go. Ed was the first person he'd gotten close to since Ishbal and he needed him.

"What's done is done. No one could ever help me. Not before, not now." Ed started to walk away, shopping bag in hand. Another customer stepped up and started to set down foodstuffs on the counter, so Roy tore his gaze away from Ed's back and started scanning.

* * *

When Roy got off work he went to the park, hoping to see Edward. There was no one there.

Roy sat down on a bench and put his head in his hands. He started rocking back and forth, small comforting motions soothing him slightly in his time of confusion and hurt. Why deny it? He wanted Ed. To be there to wake him from his nightmares and hold Roy. The dark haired ex-military dog shook his head. Thinking about what he wanted wouldn't help him get it right now. He needed to figure out why Ed hurt himself and took drugs and whatever else. He needed to figure out what Ed's Ishbalan War was.

He heard crunching noises nearby and looked up quickly, hoping desperatrely that it was Edward. But instead of a short blond man with a long braid, there were three tall, bulky men sneering at him. Roy frowned.

"Something I can help you with?" He growled.

"Just hold still, thanks." One man's sneering grin grew even wider as he drew back his fist. Roy's eyes widened and he stood to scurry backward. Tripping over his own feet he looked up at the men spreading out to form a semicircle in front of him.

"What do you want!" Roy's legs were like jelly.

"We know your little secret, _faggot_." Roy's eyes widened for a moment before he realized the man wasn't talking about any secrets in his past. He was talking about Edward and Roy.

"We saw you at lunch just yesterday. Where's that little maggot you were with anyway? He looked pretty small. How old was he, huh?"

"Twenty-six!" Roy blurted. His legs were shaking so much he didn't have a hope of standing or running. His pyrotex gloves were at home and he didn't have so much as a pocketknife in the way of weapons.

"Twenty-six, huh? I don't know, he looked a lot younger to me. Are you sure that's not how many times you did him after the two of you left yesterday?"

Roy was speechless, but more than that he was horrified to his core. Frozen with the feeling of someone invading his security bubble and stabbing at it. How could this man who didn't even know him say things like that? How could anyone say those things?

The man to his left who'd been silent until now stepped forward with a well-aimed kick to Roy's ribs. Roy cried out at the sharp pain, magnified by his emotional distress.

"Get the hell off him you Goddamn curs."

Roy swallowed. That wasn't Ed's voice. It couldn't be. He opened his eyes and saw the blond walking past him and right into the semicircle of big bulky guys.

"You! You're that other fag. How sweet. Now hold hands and go to hell together."

"Why don't you go first?" Ed was suddenly only inches away from the man, his fist planted firmly in his sneering face.

_'That's the automail one._' Roy thought.

Ed shifted his weight onto one foot and gave the man to Roy's left a kick in the gut that sent the man reeling backward. Roy panicked when he saw the third man pull a knife, but Ed kicked his wrist with his left automail leg so hard it snapped. The man screamed and Ed grabbed his collar, hefting the man off the ground and throwing him on top of the first man who was holding his smashed face with a shaky hand. Ed walked over to each, slugging them hard enough to knock them unconscious, little streams of blood trickling from their mouths. Ed turned around to face Roy.

"If you don't want it to happen again, you should report them to the police station down the street. Do it while they're still knocked out." Ed walked off, leaving Roy with tears streaming down his red face.

* * *

Roy wasn't sure how long his sat there, staring at his three unconscious terrorizers. After what could have been seconds or hours, Ed's words came back to him and he jumped up, running as fast as his legs could carry him. He knew where the station was and pounded up its steps and in through the door. Willing his heart to slow its frantic pounding, he went to stand at the front desk, waiting a moment for the girl to look up from her paperwork.

"How can I help you?" The way she said it competantly in a friendly but no-nonsense tone, calmed Roy immediately.

"Uh, well. Ah- Three men attacked me in the park!" he realized he hadn't given any thought to what he actually wanted anyone to do about it now.

"Are you injured?"

"I think I'm alright. A-a friend of mine intervenedand um, now they're lying unconscious in the park."

The girl took it all in stride. "OK. Can you tell me who this friend was?"

"Edward Elric." Roy choked out.

"OK. You just have a seat right over here and try to calm down. I'm going to send some officers out to bring in those three men if they're still in the park. Do you know any of them?"

Roy shook his head and dropped gratefully into the offered chair a few feet away from the front desk. The girl disappeared into a back room behind the desk, then returned with a cup of hot chocolate.

"What can you tell me about the whole thing?"

Roy took a shaky breath and she tried again.

"Do you know why they attacked you?"

Roy swallowed. Back in Amestris it would have been worse to tell an official that you were assaulted because you weren't exactly straight than just to be assaulted.

"Listen-, I-I'm sorry but I need to talk to Edward, my friend. Then I can..." Roy looked up, pleading with his eyes.

"I'll see if I can bring him here. Do you know his phone number?"

Roy shook his head.

"I'll look it up then. Please try to relax, we want to help as much as possible, alright?"

Roy nodded his head. He wanted to tell her everything just to be cooperative because she was trying to be so helpful, but he was afraid.

A few minutes later, she returned and sat down in a chair across from Roy.

"Edward will be here very soon, OK? What can you tell me right now?"

"There were three of them and one of them kicked me in the ribs. Then Ed came and beat them all up and then he left. So then I came here..."

"Hey." Ed walked in, hands in his pockets and the girl stood up.

"I'll give you two a moment alone." She said, offering her seat to Ed. The two men watched her leave and then Ed turned back to Roy.

"What did you drag me over here for? I got rid of them for you, didn't I?"

"Y-yes. I don't really know how to thank you-" Roy spouted a line he only used when he wasn't really thinking about the favor he'd been done. "But I needed to ask you. What do I tell them about why they attacked me? About me and you?"

"Just tell them the truth. Believe it or not, it's actually not potentially fatal here in Drachma. Even if you hate the weather here, you've gotta love their police force. And as for us, they have other incidents like this involving me on record anyway. So is that all?"

"One more thing." As Ed had been speaking, a light bulb had gone off in Roy's head. "Will you let me try to _repay the favor_ ?" Roy put a bit of sauce into his voice to get his meaning across. Ed studied him carefully for a moment.

"You can try if you want to." He accepted. Mentally, Roy punched a fist in the air. He wasn't letting go of Ed, no way.

"My place or yours?" Roy murmured.

"Mine." Ed stood up and walked out. After a moment, Roy called out "Miss?"

"Yes?" She appeared from the back room.

"I, uh, I'm ready to tell now." Roy blushed. Confessing feelings and sexual information to a total stranger was going to be just peachy.

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	7. Chapter 7

**New chapter, anyone?**

**Thanks for all the awesome reviews!!**

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"I see. That must have been frightening." The woman fiddled with her pencil for a moment. Roy was still blushing. "Faggot" was actually not something he'd ever been called before.

"That's everything I need to know to press charges, but may I ask one more thing?"

Roy nodded meekly.

"Do you have any family or friends to stay with? The danger is over, but speaking from past experience, being alone, especially in the dark, can be...hard. After something like that." She looked up gently.

"Past...experience?" Roy tilted his head curiously.

"I'm bisexual myself and I don't try to hide it." She was with confidence and then a wink.

"Oh." Roy blinked.

"So, do you have a place to stay?"

Roy was about to bring up Ed's agreement of another get-together, but a flashback of Ed screaming at him to get out made him catch his breath.

"N-no." He looked down at the floor.

"Not Edward's place?" She asked gently. Roy took a deep breath.

"Well-. It's complicated. I think."

"Roy." She said firmly. "You need a friend. You're in a foreign country all alone and you don't seem to be the overly friendly type. So please. Let me help? Tell me what's wrong."

Roy looked up at her. He'd thought having Ed would be his next big step in the personal relationships department, but maybe before he got any deeper into that, maybe...maybe he did need a friend. A confidante at least.

"It's OK." She told him. He took a deep breath.

"I'm scared. I want to be with Ed, but I'm just-...he's not-...I don't know. After lunch when I went to his house, I found some prescription medications in his cabinet by accident and he screamed at me and kicked me out for finding them, even though I didn't mean to." Roy was already feeling less lonely. The girl frowned.

"Roy. I have to ask. Do you really think he's safe? If there's a chance that he might hurt you, you need to let him go." She said firmly.

"No, please! He's the first person I've been able to get close to in three years!" Roy suddenly realized how upset he was getting at the thought of letting go of Ed. He blushed, sure that his childish protests weren't going to convince the woman in front of him that he could handle a relationship.

"Well then. Do you remember the name of his prescription? Maybe his irrational behavior is a side-effect. Maybe he's just embarrassed about it. Maybe he's not even taking it, but he's scared you'll get the wrong impression by finding it." She surprised him.

"It was Imipramine. It's a severe antidepressant also used to fend off panic attacks."

"Antidepressant...He might be embarrassed...But his reaction still sounds a little over-the-top. You should see if he's willing to talk about it, or if he would see a doctor just to make sure everything's alright. Could you do that?" She asked.

"I can try."

"If you do get a chance to talk to him, give me a call, OK?" She handed him a slip of paper with her telephone number on it.

"Wait! What's your name?"

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**Now! Because I stink at thinking up names, if any of my readers have any suggestions, I would love to hear them! Best suggestion will be her name.**

**I was thinking either Beverly or Sakaki, but neither sounded exactly right so...**

**Review and Suggest please!!! I need a name for her before I can post the next chapter!!**


	8. Chapter 8

**And the winner for the name-suggesting is Kuropuu!!!!! Thank you so much!!**

**Finally the next chapter is up! I'm really sorry it's been so long!**

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_"Wait! What's your name?"_

_"Yoshino."_

_"O-OK!"_

_"Good luck." She waved at him as she went back to her desk. Roy stood for a moment, then headed out the door with purpose in his stride. He was going to figure out Edward Elric and he was finally going to truly leave the past behind and start a new life._

_---------------_

He knocked on Ed's door and waited patiently for a response that didn't come. Roy knocked louder before he heard running footsteps and swearing coming toward the door. Ed flung it open angrily, dripping wet and wearing only a towel and a huge red cape that made Roy think of children dressing up as bullfighters.

"Roy?"

"Now a bad time?" Roy smirked.

"For what?" Ed put on a tone that Roy knew well by now. Roy smirked a little more and stepped in. As Ed shut the door, he let his bullfighting cape fall to the ground, leaving him with only the blue towel around his waist.

"What is this for?" Roy asked, picking up the cape.

"The automail. Didn't have time to put any clothes on." Ed grumbled.

"Good thing." Roy murmured. He knew he should talk to Ed first, but he'd probably just get kicked out. Besides, if he wore Ed out, the younger man might not have the energy to get worked up about Roy's questions. Ed turned and headed past the breakfast nook into the rectangular room with all the doors, but headed through a different door this time than last. Roy followed Ed into a very dimly lit room and tripped over a pillow. As his eyes adjusted to the light, he realized the whole floor was covered in fluffy pillows of varying sizes, many of them black. Ed opened a small closet on the left-hand side of the room and pulled out some soft black blankets.

"Kind of kinky, huh?" Ed grinned. "The light and the black."

"Yeah, I guess."

Ed let the towel drop form his waist and flopped into the pillows on the floor with a grin, lying back and inviting Roy over. Roy smirked in return, a bit of devilish humor in his eye and knelt down in front of Ed. His hands were still cold from his walk to Ed's house and he pressed his right between Ed's legs. Ed inhaled sharply and sat up, wriggling.

"Roy!" It was a false protest and Roy pressed his left hand to the blond as well. Ed rocked forward further into a sitting position at the chill and Roy pressed his chest flush to Ed's to push him back down.

"Are you going to let me top again?" Roy grinned pure evil and Ed rolled his eyes, lying back in submission to Roy's fondling.

"Yeah fine...Look, sorry if I get tired...I'm a little under the weather, but it's nothing you'll catch, promise." Ed was slightly breathless and Roy frowned in concern. Lifting one now-warm hand and putting it to Ed's very warm forehead, he asked "Are you alright?"

"Yes. I'm fine, stop teasing me." Ed squirmed under Roy's hands, now truly protesting. When Roy didn't move, Ed snapped at him.

"Come on! It's nothing you can catch!"

"Does it have anything to do with your medicine?" Roy took the plunge.

"Leave it ALONE, Roy." Ed struggled to get up and away from Roy, but the brunette was bigger and pinned him down. Roy nipped Ed's neck and growled.

"Tell me why you're sick and I'll let you up."

Ed made a surprised and upset yip when Roy bit him again.

"Get off!"

"Fine, how about why you freaked out when I found those drugs in your cabinet?"

"NO! OFF!" Ed stopped wriggling and started really pushing and Roy wondered how long he could keep the blond down.

"Tell me something at least." Roy growled.

"If you don't fucking get off me I'll put myself in a coma! I've done if before and I'll do it again! Mind your own fucking business! Now GET OFF!" Ed screamed, struggling with his whole body against Roy.

"How? Using an overdose?" Roy held Ed firmly despite being pushed upward.

"No." Ed was getting tired. "Self-induced coma. I can do it right now." he panted. He suddenly relaxed his whole body, going limp and closing his eyes. Roy jumped backward off of him and after a moment, Ed's ocher orbs became visible again. Roy narrowed his own eyes as Ed stood.

"That better not have been a trick." He snarled. Ed shook his head.

"That's what the meds were for." He croaked. He sounded like he was biting back tears or vomit. Roy didn't know what to do. Ed wasn't kicking him out...and yet the possibilities of him staying were looking fairly slim right now.

The blond suddenly went down on his knees and moaned.

"Ed? Are you okay?"

"Shit. Help me up?" Ed wobbled upright, his legs shaking badly.

"No." Roy held firm. "Tell me why you're sick."

Ed shook his head and stumbled toward the door. As soon as he opened it, he gagged, vomiting in the doorway. As his legs gave way, Roy caught the smaller man in his arms, holding him upright.

"Fuck. Roy?"

"What's wrong with you!"

"I need to get to the kitchen."

"What's going on?" Roy demanded.

"I need some water and something with sugar in it and to lie down. I'll live."

Roy gave in and pulled Ed into the kitchen. The small blond gulped three glasses of water and almost gagged again on a cookie. Roy couldn't help but feel sorry for Ed and began rubbing little circles on Ed's back with his hands. It made Ed remember the reason they'd been in his little black pillow room in the first place.

"Hey Roy? If you're gentle, I can do it." He said. Roy shook his head.

"No way. Not until I get some answers. I want to help, Ed. PLEASE. Tell me why you were upset that I found your prescription and why you got so sick so fast just now. Please."

"Only if you earn it." Ed brushed his hand down Roy's hip.

"Are you serious?" Roy was incredulous.

"You're good, Roy. I would know." Ed stood and pressed his unusually hot body against Roy's.

"You'll really answer?"

"Promise." Ed ground his hips against Roy, little pants already accentuating his breathing.

"You're more desperate than I am." Roy smirked, lifting Ed in his arms. The blond replied nonchalantly.

"Better believe it. Here, go in that far left door." Ed waved at it. Two doors down from the black room, this one had nothing in it but a white futon and a stack of various blankets and quilts. Roy could feel how weak Ed was in his arms and it surprised him. What alarmed him more was that Ed was still requesting sex in this state. He couldn't imagine not being gentle with the blond.

He threw a blanket over the futon, laid Ed down and then pulled a heavy quilt over himself and the small man.

"You're sure you want me to do this?" Roy checked.

"Yes!" The word had a clipped note that came from being kept waiting too long. Roy lay on his side next to Ed and ran his hands down the blond, fondling him. Ed responded strongly, despite his trembling frame and then glared at Roy to tell him he was being too gentle. Roy took the hint and Ed's breath hitched in his throat, eyes going wide.

"That what you wanted?" Roy snorted at the blond's eager reaction. Ed whined slightly, arching his back and lifting himself so he could hold onto Roy's shoulders and suck on his neck.

Roy's own lust was returning now and, having relaxed again, he started to tease the blond, stimulating him roughly and then so gently it almost didn't count. Ed growled and then bit Roy sharply, causing him enough pain that he jumped and then begged for mercy. Ed fondled him roughly and Roy squirmed at the touch.

"You're not that sick." He huffed in partial annoyance.

"I recover fast. I've had practice." Ed scoffed. Roy opened his mouth, intending to question further the meaning of Ed's words, but Ed pumped him hard, distracting him completely.

"Something to say?" Ed taunted. Roy took a breath, sucking in more air than he had originally intended as Ed pushed him flat on his back.

"Roy?" The man's name was forced out of Ed's mouth in a moan. Roy opened one eye. He'd thought Ed was going to let him doze off, arms wrapped around a compact body. "Is there anything that makes you feel so vulnerable that if you ever...see it again, you think you might have to kill yourself?"

Roy sat up, telling himself to remain calm at Ed's thoughts of suicide.

"I know something very similar. I did try to kill myself, repeatedly, but I was too much of a coward." He said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. Ed rolled over, facing Roy and looking up at him.

"I'm sorry." He choked, sitting up and putting his arms, one soft and warm, one hard and cold around Roy's neck.

"I just get so lonely." He cuddled hard, fiercely pressing his body against Roy until the taller man lay back down and pulled Ed close, letting the blond bangs tickle his own. He'd never seen Ed so upset or so vulnerable and he had to remind himself to think carefully before saying anything. He didn't want Ed opening up to him to backfire in anyway. But he still needed to go through with his interrogation.

"You said you would answer my questions if I earned it. And from the way you screamed, I know I earned it." Roy smirked gently as Ed abruptly sat up, the blankets falling away from his chiseled upper body.

"I do not scream!! After that little comment, you get ONE question."

"That's not really fair..." Roy lamented.

"Hmph." Ed turned away, his nose poking up in the air. Roy knew a moment of extreme annoyance with Ed, given the seriousness he thought the situation merited. Ed had collapsed and then asked to be carried- how was he supposed to get to the bottom of that in one question? Roy thought about asking why he'd gotten sick, but decided to try something that had been bothering him longer.

"Why were you upset when I found the imipramine in your cabinet?" He spoke slowly, crossing his fingers Ed would really answer.

"I never wanted anyone to know I was taking them. For a long, long time, so that it got to be a habit. And I, uh, I know I scared the shit outta you Roy. If I had to start taking anything new now, anything, I wouldn't be so...crazy about it, but that one's just a bad reminder of..." Ed paused, choking slightly on his words "Everything awful that ever happened to me." He was staring at his automail foot as he wiggled his steel toes gently. Roy didn't know what to say.

The tension mounted as Ed drifted further into his own little world and finally, Roy tried to break the silence with a taunt.

"So, if I can make you scream like that again, I think I get another question." He said. Ed turned, eyeing him from a chin-to-collarbone position.

"I guess I'll have to kick you out before you can try." He said wryly, earning a slightly shocked face from Roy. "But, because I'm so nice, I'll give you a tour of the house instead."

"Alright, I guess. It is kind of strangely shaped isn't it? And big, too."

Ed just shrugged his shoulders.

"Put your clothes on, some parts are really cold." He said, standing. "I'm gonna go get dressed, don't start wandering around."

Roy nodded as he pulled his pants back on, then reached for his shirt.

"I wonder what Ed doesn't want me to find while I'm wandering around." He said absently as he headed for the door. He came out into the long white room and began counting the doors. The one behind him on the west wall, two on the south wall, the easternmost leading to the breakfast nook, and five on the north wall. The one closest Roy led to the black room, which still had a pile of puke in the doorway. The next one was a mystery, but the third led to the corridor with staircases from which Edward had led him to that room with the big fluffy bed the first time.

Roy went to the second door and opened it slowly. After a moment, he stepped into the badly lit linens closet, admiring Ed's very nice fluffy towels. As he pulled the door closed behind him, reaching for the door about eight feet in front of him, at the other end of the closet, he heard the door to his right click open as well. He paused in the dark, cringing when Ed opened the door behind him.

"Nice, very nice, Roy." Ed grabbed Roy's shirtfront and hauled him out of the closet roughly. Roy grabbed Ed's wrist and steadied himself under Ed's withering glare.

"Exactly what part of '_Don't wander around_' , don't you understand, huh?"

"Give me one reason I shouldn't wander around." Roy snapped.

"Because it's my house. And congratulations, I hope you like freezing wind and snow." Ed began dragging Roy by the collar out into the kitchen nook, heading for the door.

"Hey! Wait just a minute!" Roy was both irritated and anxious, the emotions mingling in his voice. "You can't just keep kicking me out!"

Ed didn't react and Roy couldn't see his face. Roy searched his mind frantically for some advantage or power he held over the blond.

"Especially not if you expect me to keep coming back for sex! You said yourself I'm the only one who doesn't object to your automail!"

Ed froze, four steps from the front door. He turned to face Roy slowly and the taller man swallowed at the livid expression he wore.

"And what makes you think I need it? I'm not as weak as you are, Roy." He spat the words, smiling slightly at Roy's wide-eyed shock.

"I'm not the one who's afraid of letting anyone get to know him! I'm not the one who's scared of answering a simple question!"

"There's nothing simple about it! You're just poking your nose where it doesn't belong! So stop acting like you care!"

"I do fucking care! But I guess I'm wasting my time with a mental patient like you!"

"Oh you_ care_ now, huh? Gimme a break. We both know this was all about the sex from the start." Ed snapped. Roy froze, his eyes narrowing and lips pressing tight and thin, restraining his emotions. The two stared at eachother, Ed still crushing Roy's shirt collar in his automail hand. Finally, Roy moved his hand up to Ed's and the blond angrily released his grip. Roy turned away.

As he opened the door and felt the stingingly cold snow and wind, Roy turned to look at the short man still glaring after him.

"Thank you. I honestly hadn't realized I was in it to fuck some bad tempered dwarf who leaves me black and blue because he has fake limbs." Roy's voice had deepened to a growl as he snapped his retort and then slammed the door. He didn't even flinch at the crashing noises behind him.

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**Woot! Lots of angst!! Will Roy ever return? Will Ed ever forgive him?**


	9. Chapter 9

**OK! This chap's a little short I know, but it's something, right? Warning: Ed's language**

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Roy didn't even bother calling Yoshino that night. Sure he'd sort of maybe figured out why Ed had freaked when Roy had found those drugs, but the blowout that had followed was as bitter as all the alcohol he drank.

Roy wasn't the only one drinking tonight, although Ed was coupling that with his prescription drugs and breaking things with his automail fist. When Ed got dizzy, he only lay down on the table, thinking it would pass soon.

When he woke, it was to pounding on his front door that almost matched the pounding inside his head. Almost.

He groaned loudly and rolled off the table, gripping its edge to keep from falling. If that was Roy in his door, he was going to punch him in the stomach...Maybe hang him with that ugly Christmas tie a girl had given him last year, Ed thought as he staggered to the door. Leaning on the wall heavily, he cracked the door open.

A dark blond woman wearing an old pink hooded sweatshirt was glaring up at him, her mouth dangerously pressed. Ed glared right back. When she didn't move, he growled.

"This had better be good."

"I know Roy was here yesterday." She snapped. Ed stepped out into the dreary morning, slamming the door behind him.

"I've never had a woman bitch at me for being gay before, but if you want to, I'll still beat the shit out of you."

"Oh shut up. I'm here because Roy didn't show up at work today and when I checked on him at home, he had a huge bruise on his neck."

"What?" Ed slowed his homicidal train of thought to make room for a new one. "Did he get beat up again?"

"I don't know. He won't talk to me."

"Fuck."

"So you didn't do that to him?"

"His neck? ...No."

"What _did_ you do to him?"

"Nothing he didn't ask for, OK? We were playing rough, he's probably got bruises just like I do, but I never hurt him." Ed snapped. He sighed a moment later, slapping one hand to his forehead and sitting on his front steps. After settling himself, he spoke. "I'm kinda hungover. You done?"

"What are you going to do?"

"Go over to his place and make him tell me how he got hurt."

"How?"

"I'm a lawyer, woman. Damn Dr.Elric, attorney at law."

"Be careful. He's hurt and confused mentally as well." She said gently. "If you barge in and tear a strip off him, he'll be in even worse shape."

"Whatever."

"I'm coming with you."

Ed looked up. "Look," he said, pointing vaguely away from the house. "The Easter Bunny is fucking a turnip."

Before Yoshino could even respond, the door to Edward Elric's house was clicking shut, giving a final chirp as it was securely locked.

"Some lawyer." She snapped. Why did Roy like him again?

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**The end was a little weird, I know. I hope it was funny and not too disturbing, Ed was just distracting her while he went back inside.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Whew!! My shooting sports contest is OVER. And I ROCKED!!! WOOT!! Who's the champion? I am now officially Number Eight in the State. (For .22 Rifle. For pistol, I'm either 8th or 7th depending on which website the results are posted on, 'cause I tied... With a guy who mopped the floor with me last time! Oh yeah!!)**

**Oh and I can't forget to mention (while I'm bragging my brains out) that I am the Number One 4-H Senior Recurve Archer in the state!!**

**And the 54th shotgun shooter...which is like, so way better than I've ever done before, even though it doesn't sound all that impressive.**

**So...to sum it all up in two words for my readers: "I'm back!!!" **

**Enjoy this chapter!**

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Roy curled up on the couch, knees drawn up as he coddled a cup of hot tea. All last night's alchohol had done was make him cry and given him a hangover. Now he was hoping the tea would calm him.

He slurped at it shakily, jumping a little as someone abruptly began knocking on his door. Roy padded to the door, a little embarrassed that he was still wearing his blue puppy pajamas. When he opened it, who should be leaning a gainst his doorframe but one Edward Elric who was wearing a sexy smirk on top of his white button-down and dark vest.

"Wow. A dwarf shows up at my door first thing in the morning. This is even better than the fire-breathing dragon from yesterday."

The smirk dropped off Ed's face with a plunk to be replaced by narrowed eyes and a clenched jaw.

"The sharp-tongued _snake_ strikes again, huh?"

Roy snorted. "Now _I'm_ the deceitful one?"

"Hey, I never lied to you."

"I never lied to _you._"

"What the hell? You started poking into my personal life and then claimed you 'cared about me' to justify it!"

"I wasn't lying, Edward." Roy's voice sank dangerously, telling Ed he'd better leave off and disappear _real_ fast. Of course Ed didn't heed the warning.

"So, while we're lying about all this shit, why don't you tell me what happened to your neck because I had some blond bitch show up first thing this morning accusing me of abusing you."

"Blonde...?" Roy looked clueless.

"Damn right. Came over and outright accused me."

"...On my neck?" Roy reached up. Edward took the liberty of helping Roy find the mark by smacking it lightly with one hand.

"...Didn't you do that? You bit me."

"What?" Ed looked a little disturbed. Roy smirked suddenly and shut the door in Ed's face. He staggered upstairs to the bathroom and pulled back his collar in front of the mirror. There was a bluish diagonal mark on the side of his neck surrounded by an irritated red patch.

He went back downstairs and opened the door before Ed could break it down with his steel hand.

"Uh-huh. This is from you." Roy pulled back his collar and Ed looked away. The blond fiddled his gloved thumbs and Roy caught some grumbling that sounded like "...shouldn't have told her off."

"I'll tell her it's OK if you answer five questions." Roy decided to bargain.

"Five?"

Roy nodded. Ed stared at him, then turned to leave.

"Wait-!" Roy didn't want this to drag out, he wanted to resolve it! "I'll- I'll do something for you."

"Oh yeah? Like what?" Ed didn't even look back.

"I'll, um, le- let you top...?" Roy couldn't believe he was, not fir the first time, bargaining sex for information. But really, that seemed to be the only thing Ed cared enough about to be baited with.

Ed snorted loudly, "You'll have to do better than that, Roy."

And it all became clear to Roy. That was a double-entendra as far as he was concerned. Add that last remark to the one yesterday about not being weak and Roy thought he had the answer. Ed had to be seduced. That was it. Words weren't enough to knock down Ed's barriers though, Roy thought. They just weren't tempting enough, especially when Ed was trying to act tough.

Roy followed Ed out the door, gaining ground until he could wrap one arm around the blond's chest and grab the front of Ed's thigh with the other.

"C'mon," Roy growled seductively. He hoped that would work as well as Edward as it seemed to on most of the women he knew. The small blond started to squirm and Roy began dragging him backward through the door, kicking it shut with his foot.

He was done being nice or gentle. If he wanted to crack the mystery that was Edward Elric, Roy was going to have to be a little more forceful. In a good way.

"Let go of me!" Ed snapped, both hands trying to find a hold on either of Roy's arms.

"Uh-uh." Roy shook his head, jerking to a stop as he felt his brain crash painfully around in his skull like a pinball.

He suddenly didn't know if he was actually capable of seducing Ed with a hangover like this.

"The less you behave, the harder this will hurt." Roy wrapped a leg around Ed's ankles, bringing them both crashing forward to the ground. Roy whimpered as his skull crashed against his brain and Ed pushed himself onto his knees, lifting Roy with him.

"You're hungover," the man hissed dangerously. Roy narrowed his eyes, leaning more heavily on Ed, who braced himself against the weight. Roy smirked, "So what?" he asked. He grabbed Ed's thigh again and pulled it sideways.

Ed writhed under him, trying to stay as far from the floor as possible and not collapse under Roy's weight, but also move enough of his weight to his other leg and arms so he could move his right leg back under him.

Roy had pulled it out to enough of an angle that leaning all of his weight on it caused Ed's leg to slide even further out. Ed growled in frustration as his legs were spread wider and wider apart until it was painful and he dropped suddenly onto his elbows in an attempt to relieve the pressure.

"Now just hold still," Roy commanded, causing Ed to struggle further.

"Cut it out!"

"Don't like being the underdog, huh?" Roy put one elbow across Ed's back so he could lift one of his own and rub the inside of Ed's with his knee. Ed made a strange choking sound that Roy thought sounded very promising of Ed giving in. He reached around and grabbed Ed's belt buckle, fumbling to undo it.

"NO!" Ed screamed, surprise his most dominant emotion. He lifted a hand off the ground, reaching back for Roy and Roy used it to his advantage. He grabbed Ed's wrist and forced his arm against his back. Ed gasped, his shoulder hitting the floor.

"Oww!" he yelled angrily at Roy.

"I told you to stay still," Roy retorted.

"Cut it out already!"

"I don't think so." Roy pulled Ed's belt off and Ed screamed, "I'll put myself in a coma again!"

"You'll have to do better than that, Edward," Roy repeated Ed's own words from just a few minutes ago. Roy felt Ed go limp and crash to the floor but he'd been anticipating it and remained on his knees, letting go of Ed's arm.

He rolled Ed onto his back and shook his head at the blond. "Edward, putting yourself into a coma is just not a skill that people possess, OK? Stop acting and face the truth," he said as he pulled Ed's zipper down. As long as Ed was 'cooperating', Roy unbuttoned his vest and button-down shirt and pulled them off.

Ed still didn't move when Roy pulled his boxers off and Roy became slightly nervous. He hadn't noticed so much as a twitch from Ed. He checked the younger man's breathing and pulse, alarmed to find the latter so gentle and slow.

"Ed! Wake up!" he yelled. "Cut it out and wake up!"

Ed didn't move.

"You're going to be embarrassed when the first responders in the ambulance realize you're just faking it," he growled, scrambling for the phone.

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**Woohoo! How's that for a nasty cliffhanger?? Good enough? Er, BAD enough I mean?**

**Leave me lots of reviews and the next chapter might come real soon:P**


	11. Chapter 11

**Ready to find out what happened?!!**

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"Excuse me, are you the one who made the call for Mr. Elric's ambulance?" A doctor with a stethoscope hanging around his neck and a clipboard in his hand came out of Ed's room and started toward Roy.

"Yes, I am." Roy stood up to meet the doctor.

"His condition is mostly stable, we have him on an IV so he doesn't get dehydrated but he's showing an unusual resistance to a variety of the drugs we gave him. When he came in, he was having minor spasms and his heart was fluctuating as far as his pulse- racing and slowing and racing again, I mean, so we tried some stabilizing drugs but none of them had any effect. His pulse eventually stabilized by itself but there are some other more technical problems I was wondering if you could help us with." The doctor looked Roy in the eye.

"I'll try," Roy said eagerly. He felt like curling up into a ball to die right now but he didn't think even that would assuage his guilt. The best thing he could do now would be to try to help Ed as much as he could.

"Well, he has no medical history in this country at all. We don't have immigration records, dental records, we can't even find any of his relatives."

"Uhh..." Roy was suddenly reminded of how very little he knew about Edward. "I don't know if he has any family...Oh! I do know he's taking Imipramine." Roy blushed, feeling a little slow.

"Do you know for how long?"

"I think..." Roy pondered the possibility that Ed might not want any of this information disclosed, but decided it was for the man's own good. "I'm pretty sure he's been taking it for a long time. Years at least, and I know he's currently 26... I'm sorry, I'm just a friend and I don't know him very well..."

"Whatever you can tell us will be appreciated," the doctor reassured him.

"Wait! I've got it! He came from Amestris, the military might have some files on him seeing as that's what runs the country. That's pretty much all I can tell you."

"Thank you very much. If you'd like to see him you can. If not, it's a good idea for you to go home and sleep. Hopefully we'll know more about what we're dealing with tomorrow. Are you sure he didn't suffer any head injuries recently?" The man repeated a question Roy had been asked several times already that day.

"Yes, I'm positive. One minute he was conscious, the next he was out like a light."

"OK then, see you later and thank you for the information."

Roy took the few steps across the hall to poke his head into Ed's room and watch him for a moment. He looked dead.

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**And there you have it!! The shortest chapter EVER!!! Bwahahahaha!! (Ehehe, sorry guys, please don't hurt me, the next one's coming soon I promise, --; )**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi everyone, thank you so much! I got such GREAT reviews for the last chapter, so here's the next! I could never even consider not updating immediately after the wonderful encouragement I got!**

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"We really can't thank you enough, Mr. Mustang. The doctor is busy right now, but he said I should come and meet you," a nurse with reddish-orange hair led Roy toward Ed's room and Roy felt relief flooding him at her tone of voice. She sounded happy, so maybe Ed would be OK.

"We contacted the Fuhrer of Amestris and they did have him on file. We learned that he used to be a State Alchemist in Amestris' military so his healthcare came directly from the military clinics. He doesn't have any immediate family but we did get the name of his alchemy teacher, who the Fuhrer said would probably be willing to look after him if we contacted her.

"We can't be completely sure it's the same thing, but apparently Mr. Elric has had numerous incidents like this one and usually wakes up within a week, perfectly fine. They also had information about the damage in his lungs- apparently it's from an accident he had several years ago," she continued, almost babbling but not enough to bother Roy. He did have a mental hang-up on her last words though. He didn't remember anyone telling him Edward had lung damage.

The nurse opened the door to let him in to see 'Mr. Elric'. After looking at the still body hooked up to an IV and a breathing machine for a minute, Roy turned to the young girl who'd gone silent when they'd entered the room.

"If you wouldn't mind, could you tell me how long he's been taking Imipramine? Were you given access to that information?"

"Ahh..." she searched her mind for a moment. "Yes! He's been taking it for fourteen years they said," she answered suddenly. Roy blinked.

If Ed was around twenty-six now, he'd been on severe antidepressants since he'd been..._twelve_. That was a little scary. What kind of kid needed those kinds of meds at the age of twelve?

"OK. Um, thank you, and thanks for letting me see him."

"You're welcome, please come and visit him again. He should wake up soon if this is like the other incidents on record."

"Alright, see you tomorrow," Roy told her hesitantly, unsure if it was exactly appropriate. In truth, he dreaded tomorrow. Of course he needed to check on Ed but the sight of his frozen body just reminded him of the war corpses he'd seen, except for there being no blood.

* * *

When he got home, he realized he'd never called Yoshino and decided now was a good time. At least he'd learned some interesting things from the nurse. He also needed to ask her what exactly had happened between her and Edward. Apparently, she'd gone over to Ed's after he'd refused to talk to her the other day.

'_A State Alchemist..._' he thought, '_Just like me. I wonder what his codename was but... I guess it couldn't have been that well-known. If we're three years apart... I joined when I was twenty-one so he would have been eighteen at the time. I left after the war when I was twenty-seven. That was six years that I never heard about him so either he was nothing special and flew under my radar, or his military career must have been really short.'_ Roy thought as he dialed Yoshino's number, having retrieved it from the post-it he'd stuck to the refrigerator.

"Hello?"

"It's Roy. Remember me?"

"Hey! I thought you weren't going to call me. Did you talk to Ed?"

Roy knew she didn't mean about the weather. She wanted to know if he was safe or not.

"Nn...Not exactly. But I found some stuff out."

"Oh... He said he was going over to your place two days ago. Remember when I came to check on you?"

"I'm sorry about that," Roy groaned. "I was hungover and Ed had just kicked me out the night before. Again."

"Oh." She was silent for a moment. "Did he come over?" she repeated.

"Yes, he did. He... he tried to leave and I, um, tried to convince him to stay and he..."

"What happened?" Her tone went from curious to demanding.

"Well he got upset when I wouldn't let him in and he, uh, I guess he put himself in a coma. He's in the hospital now."

There was a long moment of utter silence and Roy began to regret making the call. Not only would Edward murder him slowly if he found out Roy was telling another person what he knew about Ed, but Roy didn't know enough about what was going on to actually tell Yoshino without sounding stupid.

"He put himself in a _coma_?" She put clear emphasis on every single word in the sentence, ending with incredulity on the word 'coma'.

"I guess?" Roy wished he could just hang up.

"Explain this to me, Roy," she said dryly.

"I can't, OK..." Roy mumbled self-consciously. "He threatened to do it before and I backed off. But yesterday I really thought he was just trying to get me to leave him alone. When he collapsed, I thought he was faking it. About three minutes later he still hadn't moved so I checked his pulse and it was really slow. That's when I called 911."

"And he's really comatose?"

"Yes, he is," Roy groaned. She was silent and when she did speak again, her voice was whisper-like in horror.

"Is he going to be OK? Are you?"

"The doctors think he'll wake up in a few days. I'm just glad they think he'll live. I was so scared when I was waiting for someone to tell me if he was OK... I thought he was faking but I really did push him that far. When he wakes up, should I go and see him? Or will he want me to stay away?" Roy's voice was bleak.

"Roy, I can't tell you what to do unless I understand what happened. What did you do that made him so upset?" she pressed him.

"I- he was- um, he tried to leave so I pulled him back inside. I thought he was playing hard-to-get," Roy half-lied, " So I pushed him down on his knees where he couldn't fight me..."

"You were trying to screw him?"

"That's the only way I can get him to answer any of my questions!" Roy defended himself, mentally flailing. Something about his and Ed's relationship seemed a little twisted when put into words and yet Roy wanted to hold onto the hope that this give-and-take, push-and-shove relationship would eventually lead to something stronger, more stable.

"You tried to force him so he put himself in a coma," Yoshino stated, checking to make sure she understood.

"Yes," Roy answered meekly. He foresaw what was coming next but there was no way to prevent it.

"He could press charges for rape, Roy!" She couldn't seem to believe he'd been so stupid, that he hadn't realized it had been a bad idea at the time.

"I know, I know... But I didn't even do anything to him," he realized he had at least something to defend himself with.

"One, this is Edward Elric we're talking about; and two, you can't prove that you didn't do something after he lost consciousness. You have no witness to Edward going out and you making the call, _therefore_, you have no witness to how much time passed between the two."

"What! I would never-"

"You know he's ruthless, Roy. Possibly insane," she reprimanded him. Roy found himself at a loss for words. As much as he wanted to defend Ed, Yoshino had hit a secret sore spot inside Roy. He was unsure of Edward, afraid to let go but afraid to move forward because he had no idea how Ed would react to either. When Roy had finally decided to press forward, he'd been rash and bull-headed in his quest because he'd known he couldn't afford to start second-guessing himself.

"Roy? Are you there?" Yoshino pulled him from his frightened silence with her loud, worried words.

"Yeah, I am. I'm- I'm just a little shaken."

"It's understandable. Do you want some company? Or maybe some food? We could go to the cafe by the courthouse," she offered.

_'That's where Ed took me...' _Roy thought. "That's alright, I have food here if you want to come over," he told her.

"Alright, tell me where you live."

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**What will happen when Ed wakes up? Will he be the same? Will Roy?**

**Leave lots of reviews so I'll be inspired to write the next chapter so you can find out!! **


	13. Chapter 13

**Next one up! Sorry about that delay- went on a trip.**

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"When I said I had food, I never said it was elegant," Roy joked as he put a tuna salad on the table, followed by some spaghetti with a plain sauce.

"That's fine, it's better than what I would have been eating tonight," Yoshino replied kindly, unfolding her paper napkin in order to place it in her lap. Roy served them both before sitting down across the table and doing the same."Well you know what I did today, what did _you_ do?" Roy asked her.

"Actually... It might seem nosy of me but I did a profile search on Edward. Other than that the station was quiet. Oh, except for a tip-off about a man who's been trying to avoid his court trial."

"Um, I- Did you catch him?" Roy asked politely. Yoshino looked up from her plate and smiled at Roy, shaking her head that he was trying to politely restrain his curiosity.

"I radioed it to the officers out in the field and yes, they caught him," she smiled, waiting for Roy to take the leap.

"So... What did you find out?" Roy took the bait.

"Well, he's been to trial on three occasions for assaulting assorted people, mostly men, but he pleaded self-defense and talked his way out of everything except a little bit of community service which he performed consistently with Habitat for Humanity doing construction. He doesn't have a bank account with any of the banks in this city," she paused, "And he has no medical records. _None_. Which also means," she said before Roy could interrupt her, "That he has no prescription records in this country." She let that sink in before she finished, voicing what Roy was also just realizing.

"He can't get meds in this country. Not legally anyway."

"Oh my God..." It sounded dumb but it was all Roy could manage. Not only was Ed taking some pretty intense drugs, he was getting them illegally and there was no telling whether or not he overdosed.

"Roy. I can pull the police into this if you want me to. Ed will never know it was you. We can follow him and find out where he's getting the drugs. If it really is illegal, we can catch the provider and at least temporarily cut him off. Your call." She folded her arms, leaned back in her chair and stared him in the face.

"I would never forgive myself. I'm sorry, but I can't let you do that," Roy was quick and decisive with his answer. "I have a request to make of you though. I'm going to get into his house, find those pills and see how many he's got left. If I'm smart I can monitor how fast he goes through them and when it's time for him to refill, _I'll_ follow him. Can you get me a gun?"

"Roy, civilians in Drachma aren't allowed a license unless they meet some pretty stiff requirements."

"I know. If I take you with me, give you a chance to bust the supplyer _without_ involving Edward, will you lend me a gun just for that?"

"That's a serious breach of protocol, Roy. I'm a deskgirl, I don't even pack a gun normally. If you want police help with this, it'll be all or nothing."

"Don't you understand I can't involve the police with Edward!" he snapped.

"You don't have to," Yoshino told him coolly. "No one's making you do anything you don't want to do, Roy." Her voice warned him and he didn't reply. "I'm leaving. You can always call the hotline if you find anything out about the drugs."

Roy didn't move as she pulled on her jacket and swung out the door, slamming it shut behind her. Roy waited a moment before leaving the dishes on the table and going into his bedroom. He went

straight to the tiny bookshelf against the wall and pulled out his go-to dictionary: The Alchemic Dictionary of Practical Arrays and Runes.

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**Who can guess what he's looking up?! The more reviews, the sooner the next chapter goes up! **


	14. Chapter 14

**Who's ready for background infoooo? Oh wait...sorry, that's in the next chapter.**

**XD**

**Anyway, enjoy this one! **

**----**

Roy slapped the piece of paper he was holding up against Ed's door and closed his eyes for a moment. A flash and a bang and the metal that used to be the lock flowed gently onto the pavement in liquid form. He turned to do a quick check of the street before pushing the door open and stepping in.

He pulled another sheet of paper out of his pocket, the alchemic array slightly different than that of the other paper, and transmuted the metal back into the lock. He headed straight through the breakfast nook into the rectangular room with all the doors, then stopped short.

There were no doors in this room. His jaw fell open as he scanned the smooth white walls.

"What the hell...?"

As he cast his gaze around him, the only thing he saw was white wall, carpet and a piece of paper on the floor:

_'If you're close enough to read this note, it's already too late for you. Consequences will be dire,' _it read.

Roy swallowed and turned to leave just as the floor underneath him gave and he suddenly lost the feeling of solidity under his body. He yelled in terror as he went down, floorboards and splinters and a sparse few chunks of carpet coming with him.

Roy hit the water with a crash and he sucked in air on reflex. He felt the water slow his momentum until he could fight his way to the surface, his shirt pulling mysteriously away from his body. As he hit air and gasped, he felt a nasty burning all over his skin, milder on the skin his pants covered. His shirt had disintegrated, falling off as he struggled.

Roy saw a ladder at one end of the iron container he was in which was about twenty-five feet wide and maybe ten across, and swam toward it. He hauled himself out, surprised to find the edge of the tank level with the rough concrete floor. Everything was pitch black. His pants were sprouting holes all over and Roy could feel the liquid on his skin leaving a mild burn. It wasn't exactly a sunburn, but at least he didn't think he would have to go to the hospital about it.

He lay on the floor and panted for a moment before suppressing all thoughts about his skin and hair, and getting up to look around. It was still dark but the hole in the ceiling above the pool shed enough light that Roy could see he was no inside a birdcage about fifteen feet high and maybe seven feet wide. There was no door. A single badly knit blanket was folded on the floor along with a bottle of room temperature water and a box of crackers. Roy opened the box and sniffed: Stale. Very stale crackers.

"Hello?" Roy's voice almost echoed back to him. All he could hear was the gentle swish of the settling liquid in the pool. Now there was a way out, he knew, but he didn't want to get back in there. He'd get burned, his clothes would disintegrate completely and he didn't actually know if he could climb any of the other sides of the pool without a ladder.

"Ah!" Roy started talking to himself to keep away the heeby-jeebies that usually came with finding oneself alone in a dark basement with very little to eat and drink. "Let's see if this ladder moves."

The ladder didn't move. The ladder didn't even jiggle. Roy wondered if he could scale the outside edge of his cage and get outside of it, until he realized at least half the cage was actually hanging out over the pool. He decided that if he had to, he would not sleep on that side of the cage.

He sat down and considered alchemy. He could draw a circle with water if it didn't evaporate too quickly, but the papers he'd had in his pocket had been eaten in the pool and he was having trouble remembering what concrete was made of anyway.

To keep away the aforementioned heeby-jeebies, Roy continued to talk to himself for the duration of his captivity. He did this in diary form, which he then proceded to sum up into the few sentences he could remember for each day:

_Day 1: Got here, couldn't find a way out. Don't know why Ed booby-trapped his own house. Don't know how seeing as he's in the hospital. The crackers, I'm certain, are old enough to have met my father._

_Day 2: Slept on the blanket last night. It's not very comfortable, plus my pants are really starting to fall apart. My skin is red all over and standing is the only comfortable thing to do because at least my shoes aren't completely falling apart. I feel like an idiot. What am I doing here? How am I going to get out before I starve to death? I mean hell, Ed's in a friggin' coma! _

_Day 3: Now I'm scared. I'm starving and the crackers don't help. I almost went back into the tank but that liquid blistered the skin off my foot and I swear to God I saw something move when I got close to the edge. I don't know how big it was._

_Day 4: SOMEONE HELP ME! God, why aren't I telepathic? Is Ed awake yet? Does anyone know I'm missing? Why did I deserve this? All my clothes are in pieces, my skin is raw from sleeping on the floor, I'm so hungry I chewed on the cage today. It didn't help, someone please help me I can't figure out how to get out. I think I'm going to die- Hey! I hear something! I haven't heard any noise since I fell in here!_

_-----_

**Dun-da-dun, Roy's going crazy from being kept down there so long! But what's that noise he's hearing now?**


	15. Chapter 15

**-NOW who's ready for background info? Ed finally tells all!**

**---------**

"So, where are you, you bastard? What were you doing in my house, eh? I bet you didn't expect me to be ready for you, did you?" Ed flipped on the basement light, a callous grin and narrowed eyes decorating his face. Roy felt chills run through his body. Ed was going to beat the shit out of him. He already hurt all over, how bad would Ed hurt him? There was no doubt in Roy's mind that Ed was going to punish him.

The blond stopped dead, staring into the cage, into the eyes of the intruder. The man had the blanket wrapped around his shoulders and he was sitting on the floor looking up fearfully. For a moment, Ed's mind shut down and he forgot to breathe. This wasn't the first time someone had broken into his booby-trapped house, or the first time they'd been without clothes. This wasn't even the first time they'd looked as though they hadn't eaten or slept in days. But, and this came as a surprise to Ed, it was the first time that person had been someone he cared about.

"R-Roy?!" Ed ran to the cage, clapped his hands and pushed them against the cage. The metal parted easily and Roy's eyes widened. That was some really crazy alchemy, to do it without a circle.

"Roy! Talk to me!" Ed put an arm around Roy's shoulders and pulled him to his feet. "Come on, come out of there."

Roy blinked. Ed had just done a complete 180. He wasn't going to beat him up?

"Roy, come on, speak for Christ's sake," Ed said as he hauled Roy to the stairs.

"What the hell was that?" Roy asked. Ed looked up at him.

"What?"

"What the hell...? You booby-trapped your house? If you hadn't woken up-...I thought I was going to starve down there."

"Roy, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were here. Here, get in the shower before that stuff does any more damage," Ed led Roy into a bathroom.

Strange to say, but Roy actually hadn't a clue where he was in the house. This place seemed like a maze. Edward continued to hold Roy up as he turned on the water, adjusting it until he was satisfied.

"Get in," he commanded.

"Come with me," Roy said, pulling his arm from Ed and turning to face him.

"Jeez, Roy. Aren't you in pain? I don't want to hurt you."

"No, not for that. Just stay here, I want some answers."

"You always want answers," Ed grumbled.

"You're going to answer them this time," Roy snapped, grabbing Ed's shirt and hauling him into the shower.

"Thanks for getting me wet," Ed growled sarcastically, pulling off his vest and shirt.

"I know you've been on drugs since you were twelve, why?"

Ed started unbuckling his belt. "You know I was in the military?"

"You were a State Alchemist. Impressive, but I never heard of you while I was there."

"How old were you when you joined?"

"I was twenty-one."

"That explains it. I joined when I was twelve. I had my reasons but... I-. I just wasn't ready," Ed's voice went tight, almost hoarse, "for some of the things they tried to do to me. I was too young but I refused to resign so to stop the panic attacks, they put me on Imipramine. It kind of takes over your body, keeps up upright and functioning." Ed had stripped off all of his clothes and he stood still under the water, head down.

"Twelve... You joined the military when you were twelve?"

"I had my reasons!" Ed's voice was thick with regret and humiliation.

"Edward, there were no records of you immigrating to this country," Roy said gently.

"I would have had to make contact with the military, Roy. They control everything."

"Are you on the run?"

Ed looked up. "They think I'm dead. I'm hiding."

Roy saw tears in the corners of Ed's eyes. His skin burned, but he wrapped his arms around Ed anyway.

"OK, tell me why you got sick when I came to your house last time."

"I got addicted to the drugs, but eventually I built up a resistance anyway. I was about to put myself down but you backed off so I didn't. The side effect of shutting down against the drugs is that I get sick. It wears on my body."

"Because it's supposed to keep you from going into a coma," Roy said. Ed nodded, hesitantly putting his left arm around Roy's waist.

"I- I couldn't. When I first realized I couldn't do it when I took the drugs, I tried to avoid taking them. Usually I was on my own so I could just take the dosages out of the bottle. But I got called in to the clinic," Ed's tears were cooler against Roy's skin than the water from the faucet and there was no mistaking them. Roy hugged him tighter and Ed wrapped his arm more firmly around Roy.

"There was some weird new disease going around and all high-ranking military officers had to be checked immediately, so I got called in without warning. I panicked and they found out I wasn't taking it. They assigned me two 'escorts'. I hated them. I was fucking scared of them and when I tried to resist them or run off and lose them, they hit me." Ed was shaking and Roy turned off the water, pulling a towel off a rack and rubbing Ed's back with it. Ed suddenly grinned up at Roy.

"We can't use a towel on you, your skin might come off. Hang on." He stepped over to the counter and plugged in a hairdryer, blasting Roy with it.

Roy grimaced sheepishly and let Ed try to dry him off that way. It took a while, but at least none of his skin came off. His foot reminded him to be grateful of that.

Then Ed led him down a staircase he was sure he'd never seen before and up a familiar one into Ed's bedroom. The place where he and Ed had first had sex, that day when he'd found the drugs.

Ed turned to face Roy, his eyes slightly narrowed. Skeptical.

"Roy, tell me. Are you really OK? I- I was so scared for a minute when I saw you. How long have you been down there?"

"Four days, I'm alright. I'm hungry and actually I was scared you were going to beat the shit out of me when you found out I broke in," Roy told him, his lips moving against Ed's soft cheek. "Now I want you to tell me, are you OK?"

Ed looked up suddenly at Roy and his eyes opened. It wasn't that Ed walked around with his eyes closed, but for some reason Roy had never been able to see Ed's emotions in his eyes unless he was angry. Now he'd lifted the curtain. Opened the floodgate.

"Ed, you can tell me everything. I'll never breathe a word of it." And Roy knew that he wouldn't. Never, not even for Ed's own good because he would never betray this man's trust. He would never lie to him.

"Well..." Ed choked on tears.

"Come here. Start at the very beginning." Roy pulled Ed down next to him on Ed's big fluffy bed and held onto him, an unspoken promise to anchor him. He wouldn't let Ed go anywhere.

* * *

_Let's go back_

_Back to the beginning_

* * *

"I was born in the east. A tiny town called Risembool. I had a little brother and our father left when I was really small. I hate him. Our mother had a really hard time. She died, when I was...nine. I knew some alchemy and I learned about human transmutation. My brother and I were living with family friends, but before I could tell Al that I had found a way to bring Mom back, he was sent to live with our father's brother and his wife. Our uncle was an alchemist but I didn't go. I never had an alchemy teacher except for this homeless woman I met on the streets in Dublith once on a trip. After we talked al ittle bit, she snuck onto the train and followed me home. She taught me alchemy and I let her live in our old house. Since Al was away and I was living with the Rockbells, no one else knew. After she taught me everything she knew, she moved on. I never saw her again."

* * *

_'Cause perfect didn't feel so perfect_

_Tryin' to fit a square into a circle was no life_

* * *

"She told me about the time she tried human transmutation. She said she lost some of her insides, but that didn't stop me from trying. I couldn't wait for Al- I did it by myself." Ed was quiet for a moment and Roy continued to keep quiet. He was terrified. Human transmutations had rebounds...

"I lost my arm and my leg then. When I was eleven."

* * *

_Let the rain fall down_

_And wake my dreams_

_Let it wash away_

_My sanity_

_'Cause I wanna feel the thunder, I wanna scream_

_Let the rain fall down_

_I'm comin' clean_

* * *

"The Rockbells are all automail mechanics. They gave me my first prosthetics. After that, I got a job in Dublith to help the family out. They never would have asked me to pay for the limbs, they were like family then, but automail's expensive so I got a job at a small hunting and fishing gear store. One day a State Alchemist named Tucker came into the store. He was going fishing and needed some bait. After he let slip to the owner that he was a State Alchemist, I started showing off for him. When he asked why I had fake limbs, I told him the truth.

A few months later, he came and found me again. He told me he'd requested permission from his commanding officers to bring me into his current project, something to do with regeneration, so I could be his assistant, but they said I could only help him if I joined and became a State Alchemist myself.

Tucker said he was researching the regeneration of human flesh using alchemy. He said maybe if we worked together, we could find a way to fix my arm and leg. Get them back. So I ran off and joined the military.

I told everyone at home I'd just gotten a better job somewhere else. I knew they'd never let me join the military. But I did. I passed the tests with flying colors. Except for the physical examinations. I'd had eye exams and stuff before, but I never lived anywhere near a real doctor, you know? I freaked out. I didn't want them touching me or looking at me and that's how the panic attacks started. At first I'd just faint when they held me down, but eventually I learned I could put myself into a trance at will. I did it too often though and they put me on the Imipramine..." Ed paused and Roy let him rest. He wasn't going to push Ed anymore.

* * *

_I'm shedding_

_Shedding every color_

* * *

"Roy?" Ed's voice was suddenly urgent. "How did you find out about the drugs?" He looked up, eyes flashing. Roy swallowed before banishing his nervous guilt. What was done was done.

"The hospital staff contacted the Amestris Military to try to get information about you when I took you to the hospital."

Ed froze, going pale. His eyes widened and Roy grabbed his hand firmly, squeezing it tight.

"Ed! Don't panic!"

"Roy... They know I'm alive." Ed was shaking. He was paler than a sheet and Roy knew he'd never seen anyone so scared.

"Roy, you have to get out of here. I can arrange a border crossing- go to Xing and wait for me."

"What?"

"I'll wait until they get close, then I'll follow. Get a headstart. If you get on a train tomorrow and head to Cselkcess (1), I can arrange for a guide to meet you there."

"Ed! Explain to me why you think I need to run. What's wrong?"

"Roy..." Ed moaned, shaking his head against the taller man. "In the last year before I ran here, I-. There was another man. His name was Breda and he-" Ed choked and Roy rubbed his back, trying to help Ed breathe. "They killed him," Ed whispered. "They killed him because of me. I was the more valuable soldier, so they killed _him._ They'll kill you too."

_

* * *

_

_Didn't feel so different_

_And going out is better_

_Than always stayin' in_

* * *

Even before it sunk in with Roy that Ed was telling him his life was in danger, Roy realized that Ed was telling him something he hadn't been at all sure about before today. Ed was telling Roy he cared.

* * *

_Let the rain fall down_

_And wake my dreams_

_Let it wash away_

_My sanity_

_'Cause I wanna feel the thunder, I wanna scream_

_Let the rain fall down_

_I'm comin' clean_

* * *

"I'm not leaving you here, we can both go tomorrow," Roy hugged Ed as hard as he dared.

"No, Roy. You're new here, not everyone will notice if you disappear but too many people know my face around here. I'll stay here and smooth things over with the store and tell everyone I'm going back to Amestris. When the soldiers get here, that should throw them off our trail."

"Ed, wait. How do you know for certain they'll come after you? How long have you been gone and how much will they really care?"

"I'm the only one who can- Roy! That's it!" Ed suddenly lit up, freeing himself from Roy's arms and bouncing into a kneeling position next to his lover. "When I left, I was in the middle of a big project- I'm the only one who knows how to open the portal to the other dimension- don't ask," he quickly advised Roy in midsentence, "The other side of the Gate is much more technologically advanced, so I transported soldiers to the other side of the Gate to secretly gather information. When I left, they had to call off the whole thing. That's why they'll come for me as soon as possible. But we don't have to go to Xing, Roy! I'll take us through the Gate where they can't follow."

"But- I mean, how will we survive there? How long can we hope to live there and how?" Roy was stalling more than he was asking questions. A different dimension with super-advanced technology? He didn't want to have to endure again that feeling of trying to get along in an unfamiliar place. Drachma was a fairly peaceful country but all the same Roy had been frightened and confused for his first few months here.

* * *

_Let the rain fall_

_Let the rain fall_

* * *

"I have enough of their currency for us to eat for a week and..." Ed's face darkened, "I know a place we can stay for a night or two. Not more than that but I'm familiar with this place, Roy. Would you rather trust me and let me bring you or get on a train tomorrow and start running for your life?" Ed planted his hands on either side of Roy's head, staring down at him and Roy, already having made his decision mentally, couldn't help but think of other things than the matter at hand. Like how cute Ed was when he was taken by surprise.

"Let's go. As long as you promise I'm not going to lose any arms or legs."

"Cross my heart, you should start packi-!" Ed struggled against Roy's firm hand on the back of his neck, pulling him down.

Roy had only kissed him once before, but it had been hurried. Now Roy was completely focused on Ed's mouth and Ed felt his heart banging in his chest. Roy laughed when Ed lost his balance and fell over next to Roy.

"I-... wasn't expecting that."

"I could tell."

Ed glared at Roy and Roy grabbed the fine hairs at the back of Ed's neck and pulled him closer. Ed protested the treatment, but not the kiss that followed it.

"Oh, hell. If we're going through the Gate we can leave whenever we want to," Ed said, throwing all thoughts of packing to the wind.

"Hey, don't get too excited. I'm still burned from that stuff."

"You're about to burn even more."

"Hey..."

* * *

_Let the rain fall down_

_And wake my dreams_

_Let it wash away_

_My sanity_

_'Cause I wanna feel the thunder, I wanna scream_

_Let the rain fall down_

_I'm comin' clean_

_I'm comin' clean_

---

**(1) This is not a made-up place, it's mentioned in books 10 - 13.**

**Whew!! When I first started writing this story, I meant to leak out Ed's past in little bits, but the story started writing itself (dragged me with it, too) and most of it just came out in this one truckload in this one chapter. **

**But there are still many questions to be answered- speaking of which, I sometimes forget to answer some of the questions I've posed, so if you find while reading the next few chapters that there's something yet to be explained, please send me a review or a message and tell me what I've forgotten, because I'm bound to do that.**

**Oh, and the song in this chap was Let the Rain Fall by Hilary Duff. I don't usually like her, but this song seemed perfect for this particular songchap.**

**R&R please!! Thank you!**


	16. Chapter 16

**LOTS of songs in this chapter, that's why it's so long.**

**The first one is Twist and Shout, second one is "Cocoon" by Jack Johnson and the third one is "Unstoppable" by Camino Palmero.**

-----

"Ed?"

"Shut up, I want to sleep now."

"Why the _hell _did you booby-trap that room? Were you planning on putting yourself into a coma before you even came over?"

"No, I burglar-proofed it because I had meant to go pick up some more drugs afterward. I ended up going after I woke up, though. That's why I'm not still sick."

Roy sat up and looked down at Ed's back. The blond ignored him. Roy wasn't surprised. Ed had been unusually relaxed ever since Roy had properly satisfied him.

"Who are you getting the drugs from? I know you're getting them illegally."

Ed rolled over, arms relaxed at his sides, leaving him more open to attack than he usually allowed Roy to see. He laughed once, as if at a child who was having trouble comprehending what would have been a simple idea for an adult.

"I'm the kid genius of Amestris' Military, Roy. I just had to go get some ingredients."

"Where?"

"The trash pit. Twenty miles out of the city. When you can use alchemy to sort out certain elements from all the undesirable ones, a trash pit like that instantly becomes a valuable resource."

Roy blinked. Ed smiled and smoothed Roy's cowlicks. Roy just shook his head which made Ed laugh some more.

"I can understand wanting to keep people out of your house when you're not there Ed, but what was with the vat of acid and the birdcage? Talk about a torture-dungeon theme."

Ed laughed. "It kind of pisses me off that anyone would break into someone else's house, so I thought I'd make sure anyone stupid enough to... Roy. Why were you in my house?"

"Ehehe..." Roy kissed Ed but it was too obvious and Ed bit his lip sharply.

"Yowch!"

"Roy!"

"I was looking for your drugs to see how soon you would need to get more so I could find out if you were getting them from a drug dealer," Roy blurted as quickly as he could say it. Ed shoved Roy aggressively to rebuke him and Roy shoved Ed back, pushing him into the bed.

"You nosy bastard!"

"I was worried! I never could've asked you, you probably would have killed me!" Roy jumped back on his knees, kneeling tensely on the edge of the bed, watching Ed closely.

The blond was kneeling on the opposite edge of the bed, watching Roy just as closely. Roy sighed and relaxed.

"This is stupid, Ed. Come on, let's do it again," he said, rolling onto his back in front of Ed.

"Are you nuts? No. I'm not doing you any favors, you snoop."

"I'm sorry I came into your house. Now stop pretending you don't want this."

"Roy!!" Ed's tone broke through Roy's playful mood. Ed was not going to take this lightly.

"What's done is done, Ed. What can I do that would earn forgiveness?" Roy let his tone convey that he didn't think he could atone unless Ed was just going to up and forgive him.

"You can tell me about your past and why you came here. I know you were hurting when I met you."

"I was not 'hurting'! " Roy said indignantly, "I was a little lonely, that's it."

"Tell me."

"I don't see-"

"Tell me." Or are you too chicken?"

"Edward Elric!" Roy snapped out Ed's full name to shut him up. "Stop taunting me."

"You're the one who wanted to play," Ed snapped, straddling Roy's hips.

"Get the hell off."

"I thought you wanted this," Ed pressed Roy. They both knew he was playing games now.

"Stop changing the subject! Why would telling you about my past make up for breaking into your house?"

"Because I want to know. I told you what happened to me, and since you have something to make up for, that's what I want."

"I told you I did it because I was worried about you."

"That doesn't make it OK. Why won't you tell me about yourself?"

"Maybe because I think I'll tell when I feel like it," Roy threw Ed's own attitude in his face.

Ed stared at him and growled. He rocked his hips, angrily grinding down on Roy and Roy twitched in annoyance.

"You want it?" He grabbed Ed's midsection and threw him sideways.

"No, stop it! Forget about it." Ed sat up looking slightly wary and Roy realized that in a way, Ed had just backed down from his challenge.

"We still have to get ready to leave, OK? I don't mind disappearing into thin air, but if you have any friends you want to warn, you should do it soon. It's only about four or five in the afternoon, so we have a little time today.

_'Yoshino... I have to warn her... And Monica from the store- oops, I haven't been to work in four days... Maybe I'll be fired,'_ Roy thought.

"Ed? Will you come with me?" Roy remembered a few others who he would have to say goodbye to. "I know we're leaving but I'd like you to meet some people."

"Yeah, sure. What should I wear?"

"Jeans, T-shirt?"

" 'Kay."

"I"m going to go home and change, meet me at the cafe by the courthouse?"

" 'Kay." Ed walked Roy to the door after Roy had borrowed some clothing from Ed.

When the blond had first suggested it, Roy had thought his clothes would be too small, but Ed had pulled out a Japanese kimono and some dark hakama that fit him fairly well. He hadn't expected Ed to keep such exotic clothing. He'd never seen Ed in a kimono and wondered how good the blond would look in it.

"See you in a half-hour, 'kay?" Ed leaned up and surprised Roy with a gentle, open-mouthed kiss.

"OK," he agreed.

* * *

Roy saw Ed as soon as he turned the corner to Bludger Street. The blond had his hair in a ponytail with his bangs hanging forward. He was wearing tight jeans and a black button-down along with black gloves. He was wearing black platform boots.

Roy was wearing a tight blue T-shirt, bluejeans and hiking boots.

"Gorgeous," he said to get Ed's attention. The blond blinked in surprise and followed Roy into the much noisier-than-usual cafe.

The place was packed, but few people were standing. Most were sitting with instruments in their laps- harmonicas, several guitars, three fiddles, a dulcimer, one keyboard, some bongos and handrums, an autoharp and an electric bass.

Ed stared around, it was a madhouse in here. Someone plugged in a screechy amp and messed with the dials until the screech was fairly quiet and a microphone could be plugged into it.

"Roy-O! Buddy-O! Sing for us, man!"

Ed remembered that guy. He'd 'persuaded' Roy to sing Ophelia once here before.

"In a moment. Jared, please let me introduce Edward here."

"Hey! How's it goin'?" The man grinned wildly and stupidly at the two until Ed nodded at him and steered Roy away.

A fiddler let his fiddle down from his shoulder and waved to Roy and Roy pulled Ed over. He tried to introduce Ed to everyone there that he knew, but after the fiddler and a guitar player, it was hopeless. Someone had started playing Twist and Shout and all the guitar players immediately picked it up, followed by the percussionists and all the rest.

"It could be a while," Roy mouthed to Ed, grinning. Ed grinned back and both of them began comically bellowing along to the few lyrics.

* * *

_'Shake it up, baby_

_Twist and Shout_

_C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon Baby!_

* * *

These lines were repeated 51,982,013 times. Roy and Ed sang along to every single round.

When the song was finally abandoned, a guitar player started up Ophelia. As he sang along, Roy could feel Ed smiling at him, which made him blush terribly.

Two songs passed that neither alchemist knew and then Jared returned to pester Roy who eventually submitted and asked one of the guitar players if he knew "Cocoon" by Jack Johnson. The man nodded and while everyone else figured out how to play along, Roy picked up and turned on the microphone that had been screeching earlier in the night. It seemed to be working fine now and Ed watched Roy closely after catching the dark man's wink out of the corner of his eye.

* * *

_"Based on your smile_

_I'm betting all of this_

_Might be over soon_

_But you're bound to win_

_'Cause if I'm betting against you_

_I think I'd rather lose_

_But this is all that I have, so_

_Please--, take what's left of this heart and_

_Use--, please use only what you really_

_Need---, you know I only have so little so_

* * *

Ed listened carefully as the jam members began to sing along, the blond's face softening at the lyrics.

_

* * *

_

_I can tell by the way that you move,_

_It's real, real soon_

_But I'm on your side_

_And I don't want to be your regret,_

_I'd rather be your cocoon_

_But this is all that you have_

_So please--, let me take what's left of your heart and_

_Use--, I swear I'll use only what I _

_Need-- I know you only have so little so_

_Please--, let me mend my broken heart and-_

_You said this was all you had_

_And maybe all you need_

_But blah, blah, blah_

_Because it fell apart and_

_I guess it's all you knew_

_And all I had _

_But now we have, only confused hearts_

_And I guess that all we have_

_Is really all we need so_

_So please--, let's take these broken hearts _

_and Use---, let's use only what we really_

_Need--, you know we only have so little so _

* * *

Roy grinned sheepishly and put down the microphone to come back over to Ed.

"So you're saying we should split?" Ed raised a humorous eyebrow, telling Roy he wasn't serious.

"No, just the rest. I mean-"

"I know what you mean," Ed told him sincerely.

Roy pulled Ed into a clearing among the tables that had been pushed to the edges of the room to make room for the jammers, and led him into a swaying dance when someone started playing a slower song. After it was over, Ed looked up at Roy.

"My turn," he said, leading the way back toward the group. Roy waited for Ed to take up the microphone after quietly asking a guitar player something Roy couldn't hear.

* * *

'_Come and lay right on my bed, sit and drink some wine_

_I'll try not to make you cry_

_And if you get inside my head, then you'd understand_

_Then you'd understand me-_

_Why I felt so alone, I kept myself from love_

_And you became my favorite drug_

_So let me take you right now, swallow you down_

_I need you inside_

_If we had this night together, _

_If we had a moment to ourselves_

_If we had this night together_

* * *

Roy couldn't help but smirk at the dirty thoughts he knew Ed was thinking as well. He'd never heard this song before.

Ed didn't sing like Roy did, with balance and tone, his voice smooth. To put it nicely, Ed yowled. But not badly. Just differently. Whereas Roy put a water-like current and flow into his singing, Ed gave all he had in an avalanche of heart and soul that frightened some of the jammers. Roy didn't think Ed cared though.

* * *

'_Do you think that this is right? It isn't really wrong_

_I know that this is what we've been wanting_

_And all this burning in my soul, it fills up to my throat,_

_It fills up 'till my heart is breaking_

_If we had this night together, _

_If we had a moment to ourselves_

_If we had this night together_

_Then we'd be unstoppable_

_Now, we can both learn_

_Somehow, you'll see it's all we have_

_Love, it keeps us together_

_And I need love_

_When I wake up without you, knowing you're not there _

_I'm only feeling half as good_

_Now I'm gonna find a way to wrap you in my arms_

_You make me feel alive_

_If we had this night together, _

_If we had a moment to ourselves_

_If we had this night together_

_Then we'd be unstoppable_

_If we had this night together, _

_If we had a moment to ourselves_

_If we had this night together_

* * *

Ed was suddenly blushing like mad as he stiffly walked back next to Roy and Roy suspected it was at least partially due to the fact that the blond was getting so much attention from the jammers for his wild singing. Roy laughed and whacked him genially on the back.

"That was good. Ready for a drink?"

Ed nodded and followed Roy to the counter. Roy asked for some beer, but Ed went straight for the vodka.

"I don't usually sing in front of people," Ed told Roy at seeing the look the man was giving him.

"You did well, Ed. I've never heard anything like it before," Roy said. Ed gave him a suspicious glare, unsure if Roy was actually complimenting him or not.

"I mean it!" Roy said defensively.

"Thanks," Ed replied as he waved over the bartender again.

Once Ed managed to get himself falling-over drunk, Roy had to say goodbye to all the jammers and drag Ed home. He made sure he mentioned he was hoping to go on a trip to some of the people he was closer to, and then pulled the blond to his feet.

"Time to get you home," he said. It turned out to be easier said than done.

"Nn, arentchoo going to sing fer me again?" Ed slurred, grabbing the back of Roy's coat for balance.

"For crying out loud it's too damn cold for this," Roy told Ed angrily. He was shivering and his teeth were chattering loudly, the sound annoying him further.

"Nahh. 'S pretty. Shing fer me."

"Hurry up before I freeze to death." Roy pulled Ed along behind him, trying to make him move faster.

"No!" Ed dug his heels in suddenly, sliding on the sidewalk and falling on his ass.

"That's it, come on." Roy yanked Ed up and bent down to sling Ed over his shoulder.

"Waaaah!" Ed yelled in glee. Roy rolled his eyes. As he straightened under the frustrating, wriggling load he'd just undertaken, Roy was hit with something he could only describe as a mental brain-wave. He heard it, but not with his ears.

_"You're not welcome. Stay away."_

Roy staggered and regained his balance, feeling Ed go limp as a noodle on his shoulder.

He could see Ed's house from where he was standing and pressed on until he reached the front step. He set Ed down and noticed Ed's eyes were closed. Was he unconscious from that voice a minute ago, or sleeping off the vodka?

'No,' Roy decided as he searched Ed's pockets for the man's keys, 'He went out too fast to have fallen asleep. But he shouldn't have been upset, he shouldn't have put himself in a coma...'

Roy tugged Ed's keys from his back pocket and picked the smaller man up again. When he entered the rectangular room, all nine doors were back in place and he turned left into the white room with the futon.

Roy flipped the lightswitch and stopped dead.

---

**R&R **

**evil grin**


	17. Chapter 17

**Uh-huh, Uh-huh, who's evil, who's evil- that'd be me. How did you all like that cliffhanger? XD XD**

**Don't kill me! **

--

The room was now a lurid purple and the futon had been replaced by a tall bed on four legs with a canopy and thin, gauzy curtains, also purple. The pillows on the bed were heavy and sequined and Roy had to knock some of them to the floor so Ed could lay flat they were so numerous.

Roy tripped over the step that separated the floor of the room and the dais the bed was standing on in the middle of the room. He stood back and stared at Ed, waiting to see the blond move, twitch, show any sign of life.

Ed didn't respond so Roy stepped back onto the dais and checked Ed's breath and pulse. Both normal.

"E-d. Wake u-p." Roy poked Ed in the stomach and Ed groaned loudly, causing Roy to take a quick step back and trip on the step again, landing on his rear. Ed turned and closed his eyes again, then sat straight up.

"Roy?" he called loudly.

"Here," Roy picked himself up.

"Oh," Ed was placated at the sight of the other man.

"How do you feel?"

"Umm... How did I get home?"

"You got drunk so I carried you. Then you passed out on my shoulder on the way home."

"I heard-. I mean, thanks."

"You passed out when I heard someone say you weren't welcome." Roy hadn't known he knew the voice had been speaking to Ed until he'd opened his mouth.

Ed looked sharply away, flinging his head to the side where he knew his bangs hid his face from the dark haired man looking at him. He stood stiffly and walked carefully out of the room. Roy followed Ed out of the room and watched silently as Ed clapped his hands and pressed them to the bare wall.

The bang that followed caused Roy to yelp and jump back before creeping closer to see the door that had just appeared in the wall. Ed opened it and followed a plain hallway to a bathroom. He went inside and shut the door.

"Hey!" Roy called through the door. "How did you do that without a circle?"

"You just have to know how. I can't explain it."

"Then how did you learn?"

"I paid the price. My arm and leg, Roy." Ed ended all discussion of the topic.

"OK fine. Why don't you want to admit that you heard that voice? I heard it too."

"Why should I admit to hearing voices in my head?"

"Because that wasn't just in your head, Ed."

"You only heard him because you were carrying me!"

"Who is 'him' ?"

Ed slammed the door open, "ROY!"

"WHAT!" Roy raised his voice to match Ed's volume.

"It- I..." Ed shut his mouth and sent a withering glare up Roy's way. "Leave it to me, OK. I'll take care of everything. You just make sure you say goodbye to everyone you want to 'cause we might not be back here for a long time."

"So when 'he' said you're not welcome, he meant you weren't welcome over-...uh, where we're going?"

"Well, uh," Ed was obviously cursing himself mentally for his little slip.

"Edward!" Roy grabbed his shoulders and shook him roughly. When he stopped, Ed's mouth was slightly agape in shock and Roy bit back laughter at the expression. Then he sighed.

"We're in this together," Roy tried to convince Ed, reaching out to pet his golden hair. Ed bit his lip. "I already know enough to get myself killed, right? What's the harm in keeping me informed, hm?" He came closer, gently putting his arm around Ed while staying alert, ready to draw back if Ed got upset.

"...I don't know," Ed told him, but Roy took it as a good sign that Ed was leaning against him.

"Tell me what harm it could do," Roy requested.

"I don't want you to think... That I don't care about my family, Roy. I didn't feel like I had a choice," Ed's words were tinted with a tight whine of helplessness and Roy hugged him tighter.

"I've learned from experience that you car more about people than you let on, Ed. I understand that sometimes the choices your life gives you are all bad or you make the wrong one." Roy suddenly knelt down in front of Ed, his arm still wrapped around Ed's waist. "I was a soldier in a war, Ed. Do you think I haven't seen and felt and _made_ bad decisions before?"

"I forgot about that... Weren't you an alchemist?"

"The Flame," Roy said. At Ed's confused expression, Roy repeated, "The Flame Alchemist."

Ed smirked at that. "I wouldn't have guessed."

"If you come to my house, I"ll show you. If not, you'll have to wait."

"You aren't going home, are you? Isn't it like, midnight at least?"

"Oh...I guess you're right. In the morning?"

"I guess."

"And what was your alias, Ed? I know you were an alchemist, too."

"FullMetal." Ed dropped the name carelessly now. Roy's jaw dropped.

"The FullMetal Alchemist?"

Ed looked closely at Roy and then drew back as if realizing his mistake.

"Uh, yeah," he said shortly, trying to pull away from Roy's arm on his waist.

"The youngest State Alchemist in history-...of course," Roy smacked himself on the forehead, "Twelve years old. But... The only State Alchemist ever to score a perfect hundred on the exam? Who threatened the Fuhrer President's life the first time they met and lived to tell about it?"

Ed grinned in spite of himself.

"And you're..." Roy swallowed hard," The State Alchemist who tore apart military command and was executed for murdering the Fuhrer."

Ed raised his eyebrows in mild laughter. "So that's how it's told to new recruits?" he chuckled.

Roy knew he looked awestruck but he couldn't help it. This time Ed was the flame. He was the moth. He had never connected in his mind the fact that Ed had joined the military as a State Alchemist at the age of twelve with the legends of the youngest State Alchemist in history. As a man who had heard the stories, the rumors and the legends of the FullMetal Alchemist, he was immediately attracted by the prospect of hearing the truth from the legend himself.

"What, what really happened, Ed? Military command, the Fuhrer, a secret project involving another dimension? And you were obviously never executed."

"You want to hear that story, hm?" Ed said fondly, playing with some of Roy's hair. "I'm still a little drunk. Let's go back to my room."

"Did you use alchemy to change it?" Roy asked, following Ed like an adoring puppy.

"When I got this house, it was an old hotel with ten identical rooms. I've been using alchemy to alter it ever since."

"Shouldn't the structure be a little shaky?"

"Whenever I notice anything shaky I use alchemy to fix it. The most rooms I think I can have and still feel safe is about...twenty-four. Which is not to say it would hold up very well in an earthquake but when I came here, I really didn't care about dying."

"What about now?" Roy asked after a moment, following Ed through a door and up a staircase.

"Now... Now I have you to look after," Ed turned and smirked down at Roy. "Oh and by the way, in this other dimension, we're cousins, got it? Business partners."

"Right."

Ed stopped at the top of the staircase. Roy avoided looking down. If it had been him, he would've reinforced this very tall staircase whose only support was a few wooden beams on either side. The landing at the top was a tiny square of floor, three doors on its three sides that weren't facing the staircase, that was so small the doors had to be opened while you were still standing on the stairs.

"Hmm... Which one, Roy?" Ed opened the door to the left and Roy peeked over his shoulder into a round room with a perfectly round bed in the middle of it, a round overhead light only barely illuminating the room. Roy snorted slightly.

"You like weird places, don't you? Is your black pillow room still downstairs?"

"Behind a different door," Ed told him, grinning and shutting the door. He opened the one in the middle, a surprisingly light one in comparison to the first with large windows and mirrors on the walls. There were some bean bags and two overstuffed, comfy armchair/rocking chairs.

"I like this," Roy said, coming up closer behind Ed's body.

"OK," Ed climbed the last stair and pulled Roy into the room behind him, closing the door. Roy wrapped both arms around Ed's body and picked him up, Ed yelping in surprise. Roy backed up and sat down in one of the big armchairs, bringing Ed into his lap. Ed squirmed on instinct and Roy hugged him.

"Easy, easy," Roy whispered in Ed's ear and Ed stopped wiggling and laughed at himself. He hoisted himself out from between Roy's legs and sideways onto his lap. He stretched out on his back and grinned up at Roy.

"OK then, Oh-Shortest-State-Alchemist-In-Histo-"

"BASTARD! THE YOUNGEST! I AM NOT SO SHORT I LOOK LIKE A SIX YEAR OLD! YOU BASTARD!"

"Whoa! Ed! I didn't mean it, Ed!" Roy yelled in panic.

"Well, good. But you're going to have to make it up to me." Ed folded his arms across his chest.

"Oh I am?" Roy wasn't sure what that had been all about. He decided to play along.

"Sure as hell."

Roy's evil grin spooked Ed, but he didn't have time to sit up before Roy grabbed his wrists, holding them over his head. He used his other hand to unbutton the last few buttons on Ed's shirt, then pushed Ed's legs down flat and licked his stomach, using his whole tongue. Ed sucked in a large amount of air and when Roy nipped the skin over his lowest rib, Ed shuddered. He let Roy's tongue run over his entire stomach, accompanied by two more nips, before he tried to move. Fighting Roy's arm, he pulled his legs up and rolled onto his side. He'd meant to slide off Roy's lap onto the floor where he could get free and reassert his dominance, but Roy grabbed his waist gently in his mouth, between his teeth.

Ed froze and shuddered when Roy ran his tongue over Ed's skin again. He didn't release his hold though and in between sets of involuntary shudders, Ed pleaded with Roy. If it could be called that.

"Let me go, Roy- uungh, wait, let me up- aah! Ro-yy!" Ed wiggled helplessly, completely at Roy's mercy.

"You don't stand up to teasing very well, do you?" Roy mumbled, trying to keep his hold as Ed's stomach muscles contracted.

"Nooo."

Roy couldn't tell if Ed was agreeing with him or protesting the attention Roy had resumed giving him.

"Roy-." Ed's voice reached up into his highest notes.

"Alright, alright," Roy sighed, grinning, "Come up here."

----

**Ahahaha, Roy got distracted! Will he ever figure out Ed's whole past?**

**R&R please!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Sorry about the wait!!**

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'_Knock, knock'_

"Uuungh. Roy?"  
"Oh please, please tell me no one is at your front door."

"I think there is, go find out."

"Why? It's your house."

"I'd have to get dressed. Automail."

"Then get dressed."

'_KNOCK KNOCK BANG THONK!'_

"Aaagh, alright already!" Ed ran, tripping, to his room and found a bathrobe. He slid down the banister on his rickety staircase and sprinted angrily to the door.

"What do you-"

"Have you seen Roy? He hasn't been home in five days!" Yoshino had her arms flung wide and Ed groaned.

"Why do you always show up early in the morning after I've been drinking?"

"Because Roy comes over here!"

"Look, if you want to talk to him, you're gonna have to get him up 'cause I wasn't having any luck."

"So he is here?"

"Uh-huh, he's been... Hanging around. Since.. I guess five days ago."

"He's been here the whole time? ...did he...Can I talk to him?"

"Come back later. Or go to his house later. He's going home to pack. We're taking a little trip. Vacation."

"What? Where?"

"Um... why do you want to know?"

She glared at him and took a fast step forward. "Let me in. Now. Where's Roy?"

Ed eyed her with unrestrained distaste.

"Let me in! Let me see him!" she shouted in Ed's face.

"Oh for God's sake," Ed rolled his eyes.

"Now! Now, Elric!" She barged forward, intending to force her way into Ed's house. Ed didn't budge and she stopped short.

"I'll see if Roy wants to talk to you," Ed sighed and turned around. Normally, being so cool prevented other people from being so not-cool, but Yoshino was worried about Roy and also didn't care about looking cool at the moment, so she tackled Edward Elric from behind, knocking him onto his stomach. She scrambled over him and ran through the breakfast area before stopping short in the room of doors.

Ed came tearing in after her, mad as hell and she sprinted through the door Ed had left open a moment ago. She tripped up the stairs faster than lightning and Ed's heavy footsteps echoed hers on the stairs.

Roy was peering down the staircase, alerted by the noise of running people and his eyes widened when Yoshino slammed up the stairs yelling, "ROY!"

Roy backed up to give her room to come into the room and she crashed through the doorway, bumping into him.

"Roy!" she panted, "Are you alright?" she asked him seriously.

"I'm... _fine,_ what are you-"

"You fucking bitch!!" Ed screeched, blasting through the door with all the subtlety of a heard of buffaloes. "How dare you! Get the fuck out!"

"I'm taking Roy with me!" she declared.

"Like he would let a crazy bitch like you drag him naked into the street! Get out!"

"Wha- what are you-"

"Don't talk to her! She's a nutcase! A complete and total-"

"Oh shut the fuck up," Roy snapped. Ed closed and opened his mouth in mental pain. "The both of you are completely overreacting," Roy told them. "Yoshino, I am fine. Edward, she's not as crazy as you are. I don't think I've ever met anyone who came close."

Ed's eyes flashed shock and then reverted to simmering rage.

"OK, let me get dressed and we'll head back to my place. A moment?" he asked Yoshino. She stepped out onto the stairs and Roy flashed her a handsome smile before retreating to the room he'd slept in to add some more clothing to his socks and underwear.

"Who the hell is that bitch?" Ed asked angrily, trying to get close to Roy as the man pulled on his pants and a shirt. Ed growled in frustration as Roy continued to ignore his attempts to get close by grabbing his shoes and lacing them up on his feet. Roy smoothed his hair with his hands and Ed gave him a poke in the stomach. Roy finally turned around quickly and put his foot behind Ed's, grabbing the blond's shoulders and taking him to the floor. Ed opened his mouth as his back hit the floor and Roy took it with his own. He didn't push, he wasn't rough, but he left Ed breathless on the floor with his eyes closed.

"See you later."

Ed didn't answer.

* * *

"OK..." Roy tucked his hands into his pockets to keep them warm. "The truth is that I did get stuck in his house for four days. The place was booby-trapped. But when he came back yesterday, he was so..." Roy searched for a word while Yoshino watched his face, eyes narrowed like a hawk's. "He was so worried. Concerned, and he didn't even get mad that I'd broken into his house until later. I- I can't tell you all of what he told me. I promised I wouldn't and no, it's not because he made me."

Yoshino's expression told him she was skeptical, but he continued, "I'm finally starting to understand him. He's gone through a lot and he wasn't ready for most of it. He couldn't handle it sometimes and he's still... thinking about it. He's not past his past. But Ed was telling you the truth earlier. We're going on a trip to this place he used to visit. I don't really know much about it, or where it is, but Ed already promised me it's safe."

"Roy, you can't just go gallivanting off with a man who's obviously not mentally-"

"Yoshino, I'm OK now. I can take care of myself."

"Men who say that are the ones who get into trouble and end up the hospital!"

"No, I'm OK now. I wasn't... myself when I met you. I was withdrawing into myself and hiding from the world. But I'm OK now! I've learned how to reach out again, I-."

"Roy, I know you've come out of your shell but I swear to God that's not what I'm worried about. I see no proof that Edward is any less the mental wreck that he was when you met!"

Roy turned on his heel to grab her gently by the shoulders.

"You won't," he said sympathetically. "Ed only lets down his walls when he wants to. For people who find a way to get through to him."

"You're saying you did."

"Yes. He lets down his walls when I'm around. He just relaxes."

She shook her head. "You just love him too much. You're defending him without a leg to stand on."

"If that's what I have to do." Roy looked her in the eyes, then turned and walked away knowing he'd lost the argument. There was just no way he was going to be able to convince her and he knew it. He walked into his house harboring feelings of regret and guilt at the thought of leaving while he was on such bad terms with Yoshino but knowing in his heart that the time it would take to mend the rift between them was time he didn't have right now.

* * *

He managed to fit all of his clothes plus his toothbrush into one suitcase and then transferred all the money he possessed into his wallet, just in case. As he raided his refrigerator to determine how much he had to do. It would be irresponsible to just leave the house so he would have to find a caretaker. He'd either have to pay them up front or find someone who would simply check on things for free. Roy would have gone to Yoshino but... He sighed. Maybe someone at the store would be willing to work out a deal.

As he bicycled to the store, Roy wondered what Ed would do about his own house. As soon as he walked into the General Goods Grocery store, Monica and Nick gasped.

"Roy! Where have you been?" Monica pattered over to him, her small feet giving her a comical stride. Nick was heavyset and walked over slowly and curiously. He peered at Roy as the Flame ran a hand through his hair.

"My life got crazy. I'm... I came her to say goodbye."

"Where are you going?" Monica asked with concern.

"Well. It's a secret," Roy winked at her. "And as tactless as it may sound, I was wondering if one of you would watch the house for me. I don't know how long I'll be gone."

"I can check on it once a week or so, it wouldn't be a problem," Monica immediately volunteered. "But why are you leaving?"

Roy couldn't help but smile. "My special someone invited me along. But anyway, where's the manager, I need to tell him-"

"Who's your special someone!" Monica wanted to know, not interested in the fact that he should tell his boss that he was leaving.

"That'd be me." Ed was wearing leather pants and a red trench coat accenting the fiery gold of his eyes and hair which was in a tight braid. Roy's jaw dropped at the get-up complimented by combat boots that boosted Ed's height a good two or three inches.

Ed wasted no time coming close and wrapping an arm around Roy's waist. "But if you don't mind, I'll be whisking him off to paradise now."

Monica giggled in awe, recognizing the lawyer as Roy blushed and tossed her a spare key. "Thanks for looking after the house!" he said as he was dragged out of the store.

"You're cute, ready to go?"

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**The more reviews, the faster I post!!! Please R&R, it makes me so happy! **


	19. Chapter 19

**Who's ready for dimension-traveling! Remember to bring your frequent flyer miles! XD**

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"Now listen to me. I will help you as much as I can but if you make it difficult, I can't be held responsible. When you go through the Gate, you have to understand that it's kind of like being taken apart and put back together again."

Roy didn't like the sound of that and he grimaced at the leather clad man drawing chalk circles on his kitchen floor.

"Don't resist it, surrender to the feeling, OK? Your soul is your signpost. That's the only thing you need to keep track of. And let me do the talking. Even if you're scared, _don't_ say a _word,_" Ed put the chalk down and brushed his hands on the red jacket he was wearing. Roy watched with apprehension as Ed put his hands together, then transmuted his automail arm into a sharp blade.

"What are you doing?" he asked. Before he could get close to see though, Ed jerked his arm and droplets of blood spread across the circle.

"Ed!" Roy grabbed Ed's automail arm as Ed tried to transmute it back into its proper shape.

"You don't want me _not_ to do this. It's a little extra something to make sure we all end up on the other side with our intestines intact." Ed smiled darkly and ruefully.

"Did- did they make you do that when you were in the military?" Roy asked. Ed glared at him.

"I did it of my own free will. Those men trusted me, some little kid, to get them safely to the other side. So yes, I did it for them, too. Now are you ready?" he snapped.

"Yes, I'm ready to come with you," Roy growled in resignation, wrapping his arms around Ed's waist when the blond turned around. He blew into Ed's hair and Ed stomped on his foot. Roy hissed, backing off angrily and Ed put his hands together again. The light consumed the room and both men in it.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Roy did a faceplant onto a nonexistent floor. He just stopped in the black somewhere without knowing why. The blackness stretched on for miles in every direction and yet something had stopped his fall. Ed was standing nearby, staring defiantly at something Roy didn't see.

He heard a crackle behind him and turned to see a huge stone gate beginning to open. He remembered Ed's order not to speak and turned to get Ed's attention when he suddenly saw what Ed was looking at.

A shapeless for with no definite outline, but that gave the impression of a child's body was grinning hideously at him. Then it looked back at Ed.

_**"Long time no see, little alchemist."**_

"Let me through," Ed snarled at it.

_**"Oh, I don't know... Shouldn't this one pay a toll?"**_

"No, I've payed for him and you know it. Open the Gate."

_**"You know little Alphonse isn't looking forward to seeing you. He's not going to want you, why go? And why bring that one? He isn't **_**military."**

"I payed the price!" Ed roared, filling the blackness with anger, "Let us through!"

_**"Alright, alright, no need to yell. Give my congratulations to your brother."**_

The hideously white face sneered at Ed as the man turned to face the store gate. He glanced at Roy. "Your soul is your signpost," he said. Little black hands from the gate touched his face and marred him. Roy wanted to fight them off of Ed, burn them with his flames but Ed showed no signs of resistance as the hands pulled his disintegrating body into the gate. Roy was so busy trying to follow Ed he didn't notice his own body covered in clammy hand-like things.

As soon as he was dragged into the Gate, he knew Ed could never have warned him about it. There weren't words to describe what was happening to him, to his mind. He could see and understand the history of the world, of Amestris but it was all going so fast-

And then he saw it. He saw the war and it was like visiting hell all over again.

* * *

Ed bit back a choking sob and pushed himself shakily up onto his knees. Always, the Gate would show him the same thing. That same person, that same look of disgust and that same story of why it had to be that way.

He was here again.

He crawled over to Roy who was lying face down on the dirt floor and shook Mustang. The Flame groaned to life and rolled onto his back. Upon opening his eyes and seeing Edward, he sat straight up and grabbed Ed's shirtfront.

"You fucking asshole! You knew what would happen, didn't you? But you didn't want to tell me because you were afraid you wouldn't get your own way!"

"Roy, everyone sees something diff-"

"Don't give me that bullshit! You-"

"Don't assume you're the only one who sees bad things when you go through the Gate! You think I haven't seen things like that? You have no idea what I have to go through!" Ed's tears started to leak out from the corners of his eyes as he shoved away from Roy.

"Just stay here. I'm going to find out where we are." Ed walked out of the dark room, leaving Roy to get over himself.

* * *

A few minutes later, he came back.

"Get it together, let's go."

"I think I lost a suitcase."

"It happens, come on."

Roy followed Ed silently onto a dark street. From the looks of it, they'd landed in an abandoned shack. As they headed out onto the street, Roy noticed many other small buildings like the one they'd come out of.

"This is a makeshift slums. Lots of these have basements and stuff where soldiers can hide out." Ed gestured around them.

"Are... shouldn't there be soldiers here?" Roy asked nervously, glancing around the deserted street. Ed shushed him as they turned the corner and emerged onto a busy street with people and cars moving quickly in all directions.

As Roy marveled at the contrast of the blocky little buildings on the first street and the tall, stream-lined buildings on this one, Ed hissed at him to hurry up. Roy caught up, walking right next to the blond man.

"Any soldiers that are still here have been here since I left, Roy. Eight years. There's no telling what's happened to them."

Roy sucked in his breath, praying he would get stuck here with them.

"Now listen, I have to go negotiate a place for us to stay, alright? We'll be welcome for maybe three days though, not long so we'll have to find somewhere else later. I'll leave you somewhere nearby while I meet with this guy."

"Hey!" Roy hissed," You can't leave me somewhere on my own here! I don't even know what language they speak here!"

"They speak it with an accent, but it's very similar to our own. In a week, you'll be perfectly fluent."

"Why can't I come with you? What kind of a shady person are you begging living quarters from?"

"He's not shady, Roy."

"Hey, wait, is it um, Alphonse? The man the thing at the gate was talking about?"

Ed stopped, stiffening at Roy's words.

"Who is he? Who's Alphonse?" Roy verbally nudged him.

"Roy, stop it," Ed snarled.

"What? Stop asking questions? I'll find out when we have to go to his place anyway, right?"

Ed shook his head. "You might not even see him." The blond alchemist lengthened his stride and speed-walked down the street.

He took three turns until the two of them ended up on Mass Ave.

"See that bar?" Ed pointed with one hand, reaching the other into his pocket. "Go get a drink. I'll be back in fifteen minutes," he handed some bills to the dark haired man he was with. Roy glared at Ed before heading into the bar. It was smoky, the air thick but at least everything looked clean. Roy stood for a moment before peeking out the window.

Ed was checking the street, making sure he wasn't being watched. Then he turned down a narrow street perpendicular to Mass. Roy was out the door in a second, earning some catcalls and chuckles from the drunks inside. He got to the corner and saw Ed sprinting down the street and taking a left turn.

Roy ran after him, stopping and holding his breath to check every street corner Ed had turned at. The blond wasn't stupid, Roy knew. He'd check behind himself and if he thought he was being followed, he would wait near one of the corners for his pursuer.

Ed took a right and came out on Vermont Drive where he slowed to catch his breath before approaching the nicest, biggest house on the street. Roy watched him open the door and slip in without knocking.

It took a few minutes for him to get up the courage to creep closer to the house and when Ed came flying backward out the door, Roy almost had a heart attack.

"Get out! Don't come back, you cur! I told you you weren't welcome, Goddamn it, now get out and don't come back."

"Al, I have someone with me-"

"More military dogs? Give me a break," the man stormed out of the house and kicked Ed in the solar plexus. Roy heard the air leave Ed's body as he hit the ground. The man standing over Roy's boyfriend had the same blond-gold hair, the Flame realized as he started to run toward Ed. The man lifted his foot, intending to give Ed another debilitating kick and Roy yelled, "NO!"

The blond man looked up as Roy slid on the smooth asphalt, coming to a kneeling stop at Ed's side.

"Don't hurt him!" Roy told the blond, putting his hands over Ed's gently writhing body.

"Who are you?"

Roy noticed the man spoke perfectly clearly, with no accent.

"I- I'm Ed's-"

"His what?" The man's eyes narrowed, pinning Roy.

"His boyfriend." Roy looked down to hide his burning face.

"Well get him out of here."

"Are you Alphonse?" Roy didn't know he was brave enough to ask until the words were out of his mouth and the man was giving him an angry, surprised look.

"What did he tell you about me?" he asked, nudging Ed with his shoe.

"Nothing!" Roy yelped. "The Gate- the thing there said your n-" Roy gasped at himself. Oh he was such an idiot!

Alphonse only nodded. "My name is Alphonse Elric. We won't be seeing each other again, so I won't ask your name. Just get him out of here."

Alphonse walked back into his beautiful white house and Ed shuddered under Roy's hands. He gulped air suddenly and sobbed at Roy.

"Why did you follow me, you Goddamned bastard!"

"I wanted to know! You keeping all these secrets isn't fair and if I hadn't come, he would have killed you!"

Ed shook his head, dirt from the road sticking to his face. "He's not that nice."

"C'mon, let's get out of here." Roy pulled Ed up to a standing position, but Ed's legs buckled under him.

"Ed, we _have_ to get out of here!" Roy hissed. He leaned down in front of the shorter blond. "C'mon, piggyback ride."

Ed started to shake his head and Roy snapped, "On or walk. Move it."

Ed grabbed Roy's shoulders and pulled himself up, wrapping his legs around Roy's waist.

"He's my brother, Roy. He's my fucking brother."

Ed cried into Roy's back and Roy let him cry, carrying him all the way back to the building in the military 'slums'.

--------------------

**Alphonse Elric makes his debut!! R&R the evil author!**


	20. Chapter 20!

**Songchap! ****Another Place to Fall**** by KT Tunstall**

--------

Roy sighed and stroked Ed's hair, trying to wake him up gently without him starting to cry again. He'd cried himself to sleep holding onto Roy in the basement of the shack and had now slept for maybe three hours. Roy had been too uncomfortable to sleep, sitting against the wall with Ed pressed against him.

Ed groaned and pushed Roy's hand away, burying his face in the taller man's shirt.

"Ed, wake up."

Ed groaned again.

"You can go back to sleep when we're done talking." Roy's voice was firm.

"Ohhh. You woke me up because you wanted to _talk?"_

"Yes, Ed."

"Talk to yourself," Ed growled after a moment's pause.

"No, Ed. I need answers from you. Like is it safe to stay in this building since we can't-um, stay with Alphonse." Roy said the last very quickly, hoping not to upset Ed.

Ed groaned again. "If you want to keep me awake, you better make it worth my while."

"Thinking about a place to stay just not worth your while?" Roy raised an eyebrow.

"Nope."

Roy licked his lips in thought, looking down at Ed's head against his chest.

"Alright then, I have a better idea." Roy's voice was falsely inspired with notes of annoyance and sarcasm flavoring the words. He stood suddenly and Ed fell over against the wall.

"Hey!" Ed was flushed with indignation. Roy opened the suitcase that had made it through the Gate- the one he'd filled with favored possessions and pulled out a soft blanket. Soft as a cat to the touch and black as the night sky. His favorite bed covering.

"What are you doing?" Ed stood angrily as Roy spread the blanket on the basement floor. The blanket was easy to clean, too, so he didn't have to worry about it too much. His kind of furniture.

It was dark now and no light was coming in from upstairs so Ed couldn't see Roy's expression.

"Trust me, this is your kind of wake-up call."

Ed jumped. When had Roy gotten behind him? Roy grabbed Ed's waist and hefted him awkwardly to the blanket, lowering the blond onto it.

"Hey wait a minute, we can't-" Ed tried to protest the removal of his shirt and jacket.

"So you admit it's not really safe for us to stay or be discovered here." Roy sat on Ed's stomach.

"I don't know- hey!" Ed tried to sit up as he felt Roy's fingers working the waistband of his pants.

"You'll just have to be quiet then," Roy whispered cruelly before he pushed himself off Ed's stomach, then flipped the blond so he was lying face down on the blanket.

Ed shoved up onto all fours at feeling Roy finish stripping him. He had every intention of giving him a black eye even as turned on as the man had managed to get him, but Roy didn't really give him a chance.

When Roy started to hit the right spot, Ed lost it. He knew Roy was right and he should be quiet but Roy was too much. He was, really and truly, something to scream about.

* * *

"We're lucky the MPs aren't here yet. I told you to be quiet," Roy said, tugging on a strand of golden hair.

"That was _not_ my fault," Ed retorted unconvincingly. "You started it."

"Hn," Roy nuzzled Ed's soft hair, "So it's all my fault you couldn't keep quiet?" he baited Ed, who smiled in spite of himself.

"Yeah. Your fault."

"Aha. Forgive me," Roy said sarcastically.

"Mm, no I don't think I will."

"You want a second chance, then?" Roy leered, climbing on top of the smaller blond.

Ed shook his head. "I have to do some snooping. Find out if we're safe here and if we are, we need to go shopping."

Ed's words caused a strange kind of pain to swell up behind Roy's eyes. He put his knees on either side of Ed's hips and lay on the blond with his head buried in Ed's neck.

"Roy? Roy, what's wrong?"

"Ed, where _are_ we? What are we going to do here? I don't understand what's going on! You were suppposed to have been executed by the military but now you're still on the run from it..." Roy wasn't really crying but he was getting close.

"Hey. Hey, settle down. Just take a deep breath, leave everything to me."

"I don't want to leave everything to you! I want to know what's going on!" Roy banged his head against Ed's shoulder to convey his frustration.

"Cut that out," Ed told him.

"Tell me the rest of your story. I want to know what happened!" Roy demanded.

"Roy," Ed grabbed Roy's shoulders and pushed him up where their eyes could meet without anyone going crosseyed. "Roy, you don't understand. It's in the past, it's my burden to carry."

"Those are lines you use on other people who want to know so you can feel like you're protecting yourself," Roy snapped.

"Fine. I'm protecting myself," Ed snapped back.

"From me? You're saying you have to protect yourself from me. Why don't you trust me? I thought this wasn't just about the sex anymore! Why are you pushing me away?"

_Are you blind_

_Blind to me tryin' to be kind_

_Volunteering for your firing line_

_Waiting for one precious sign_

_The flicker of a smile_

_You should try it just once in a while_

_Maybe it's not quite your style_

_Simply too easy to do, you might not see it through_

"Roy, I'm protecting you, too."

"If I'm in danger, it's only because of you!"

"I know that. But the less you know, the less valuable you are to the military."

"And to you? How valuable am I to you if I don't even know you?"

_Find yourself another place to fall_

_Find yourself up against another brick wall_

_See yourself as a fallen angel_

"Roy! How can you say that to me?" Ed looked hurt.

"If you really cared, you would tell me." Roy went to his last resort. "Tell me or I leave. Now."

_I don't see no holes in the road but you_

_Find another place to fall_

"Stop it, Roy. Where in the hell would you go? You don't know where you are."

_Are you proud_

_To have founded a brand new begavior_

_Of hatred and hurt as your savior_

_Nobody's choosing to follow_

_So you choke back the tears and you swallow_

_Men who have ruined your life_

_You consume them with minimum strife_

_Now you have got indigestion_

_The antacid comes as a question_

"Anyone I ask would tell me, be more helpful than you are!" Roy started picking his clothes up off the floor.

"Wait! Wait, Roy don't leave me, don't you d_are_ leave!"

"I'm leaving unless you tell me the truth. Right. Now."

_Oh, so find yourself another place to fall_

_Find yourself up against another brick wall_

_See yourself as a fallen angel_

_Well I don't see no holes in the road but you_

_Find another place to fall_

"You can't be serious!"

"I am," Roy sniffed haughtily, heading for the door.

"No, Roy wait you can't leave me," Ed wrapped his arms around Roy's waist and broke into tears. "Don't leave me, don't leave me, I need you," Ed sobbed, rational thought tossed to the wind under threat.

"Whoa!" Roy put his arms around Ed nervously. The badass blond looked so vulnerable and childish crying into his stomach.

_'Is he really crying just because I threatened to leave?'_

"What's wrong?" Roy asked worriedly.

"You don't understand! My brother hates me and they're going to kill you!" Ed wailed.

Roy didn't have a clue what to say to that. It did occur to him to remind Ed that he'd already made it clear that he didn't understand, but that didn't seem appropriate. The blond was so upset!

He pulled Ed down onto the black blanket again and let Ed, for the second time today, cry freely into his shirt.

"Ed, explain what you're saying? Please?"

"That's the price I payed, dammit! My brother hates me and that's why I can use the Gate like that!"

Roy sighed heavily. "Ed, I swear to God if that made any kind of sense, I would accept it."

"It _does_ make sense," Ed cried.

"Ed, Ed, _please_ stop crying. I can't understand you," Roy moaned, rubbing Ed's back. "It's all good and well to let yourself cry and get rid of whatever feelings you're having trouble with, but to be honest you're freaking me out."

Ed moaned and burrowed between Roy's arm and side, hiding as well as he could in the warmth.

"Ed-" Roy lifted his arm and Ed snapped, "Don't."

"Don't what?" Roy asked, getting up on his elbows to look at his red-faced lover.

"Don't move," Ed growled, trying to pull Roy flat to the floor with his automail arm.

"Will you settle down?" Roy let himself come down onto his back, snugging his arm against Ed to help him hide.

"Hmp." Ed cuddled as close as he could get. Roy gave him exactly seventy-two seconds, which he counted in his head, before trying to talk to Ed again.

"Ed, who is going to try to kill me and why?"

Ed tensed. "You're only the second person I've ever stayed with for more than a week. The first...was a low ranking soldier I met in the military cafeteria. I made the mistake of trusting the military with that information and one day I went on a mission and while I was gone, he died in a...freak accident." Ed's voice was shaking with the grief he was trying to keep under wraps.

"Ed, you said you trusted 'the military' with that information," Roy repeated Ed's own words, "Who are you talking about? Did everyone know?"

Ed shook his head, inhaling Roy's essence as hard as he could, until the pressure in his lungs made his body ache.

"Just a few of Breda's friends-" Ed froze, realizing his slip in letting that sacred name be known, then continued, hoping Roy didn't notice his difficulty. "And the Fuhrer."

"The Fuhrer President?" Roy yelped, looking over at the indefinite form pressed against him.

"Yeah. We were best friends."

Roy just couldn't comprehend this. His mind felt like it was being dunked in a bucket of cold water and then whipped around by a KitchenAid Mixer.

_"What?"_

"Actually, we were more like confidantes. We never saw each other outside of work," Ed said with a smirk Roy could hear. The blond was enjoying the other's distress.

"The- the same Fuhrer President King Bradley you murdered?"

"The one and only. He killed-." Ed left Breda's name out, a blank space in his sentence.

"...That is insane," Roy said honestly.

"Yeah. Isn't it? You're the only one who knows. Breda didn't," Ed let the name slip again.

Roy knew nothing he said would make Ed feel better, so he rolled over, shielding Ed's body with his own and planted the softest of kisses on his temple.

"Roy... You can't die now. If you do, I won't forgive you. I'll come and piss on your grave or something."

Roy laughed.

-----------------

**And the truth becomes clear at last!! Or does it? Ehehehe **

**R&R please!**


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